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PostPosted: Wed Mar 13, 2013 1:36 pm 
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Plook puts on his jackboots in honor of the new Argentine pope.


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 13, 2013 2:26 pm 
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Pope Jim believes the Church picked a South American Pope to secure the Latino Vote... :smoke:


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 13, 2013 6:03 pm 
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Plook is often seen riding his skateboard down the middle of Route 113 wearing nothing but a California Northern Railroad cap and a pair of bright red, 80's- era spandex pants.


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 13, 2013 9:08 pm 
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Downer Mydnyte has a fetish for Spandex. It matters not what gender the warm body within.


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PostPosted: Wed Mar 13, 2013 10:44 pm 
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Location: Wellington New Zealand
Home at last Jim sighed as he lay exhausted in his leather lounger, this latest book tour had really taken it out of him. Seventeen nights seventeen flights a different hotel, bookshop, refrigerator, bar and escort agency every night. The Pope was wrecked, hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm the lounger creaked as Jim shivered uncontrollably hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Jim's face cracked into a smile as his aching body writhed hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm he withdrew the humming phone from the strategically positioned pocket of his robe, it'ed be the Discovery channel wanting to ask him questions about the new breed of frog he'd uncovered.
With a crash the trendy lounge pet door flew open bounced off the wall and slammed closed, twelve and a halfs seconds later the trendy kitchen pet door crashed open bounced off the wall and slammed closed. In the intervening twelve and a half seconds between this sudden double door action, if Jims eyes had been open and he gave a shit, he would have seen Plook's poodle Gary in his trendy bangladeshi tie dyed dog harness flounce through the forum running between Jim's kitchen and lounge. If Jim could have understood the growling wheezing and yapping that emerged from Gary's damp crumb speckled muzzle as he UPS'ed his furry ass from door to door, he still would't have given a shit, but would have responded with a wrey "You need to get out more". Gary was furious, people were denigrating the son of his favourite pet food manufacturer and he wasn't going to take it anymore "I'm the most intelligent poodle I've ever met" was Gary's mantra as he stormed about, all bets are off I'm pissin' inside, in fact I'm shittin' in the forum yap yap yappity yap yap yap (goes on for about another 59,973 characters).
But back to the frog, Pope Jim, after passing out at a book signing event somewhere in Colorado, had woken without his pants a little after midnight in the breakroom of the now deserted bookstore. While searching for food, or depending on who you talk to amyl nitrate, way in the back of the staff refrigerator, Jim shoved aside what used to be a frozen beef pie which had become adhered to the sidewall of the ice box and a small translucent frog with tiny black spots on his back slide out from behind the freezing element. The frog eyeballed Jim, Jim not satisfied with the pie and thinking he saw something move looked back trying to identify what it was he was seeing, Fred was a little angry, himself and his family had been living inside the frozen beef pie apartment for a couple of generations, he began to turn faintly red, and small droplets of toxic venom blistered out of the tiny black spots on Fred's back. Thinking the frog was some kind of fancy easter egg Jim reached back into the fridge, Fred gathered himself and performed a massive leap up and over Jim's huge advancing hand and by frog standards lumberingly slow arm, and anticipating the flinch of Jims bicep Fred performed a half gaynor off it and like an arrow flew directly into Jims open mouth............
The next three and a half weeks are even today only a hazy memory for Jim, he recalls snippets of a trip to India, hanging out with yogis and babba's, naked in the Ganges. Dehydrated and dancing at the burning man in Death Valley again naked, and of course the recurring vision of being naked under a full moon atop one of the great pyramids in giza. When almost a Month after Colorado, Pope Jim awoke clad in a ragged saffron coloured bed sheet drapped on the Mad Hatters Tea Party sculpture in cenral park he had no idea how he had got there, let alone the day or date, he did however remember the little frog, the bookstore no, but little Freddy the frogggggg yes, oh yes. So the book tours continue, and Jim's facebook page is becoming littered with images of him mostly naked enjoying himself immensely at, usually to Jim unknown locations. He even made Youtube with an unrecalled guest appearence partying on Fashion TV in Ibiza, with a bevy of the worlds top models chanting rhythmically "go Jim go go Jim go", and for the record people P Jimmy was an Oroton thong away from being naked in Ibiza.....GO JIM GO!

And if you, yes you there in the corner, if you work
in a bookstore in Colorado, go check out the fridge in the beakroom won'tcha please.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 4:18 am 
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Gray_Ghost was exjected from higher studies for long windedness... :smoke:


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 5:17 am 
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Plook didn't even read Gray_Ghost's story. He was too busy feeding Gary peanut butter off his mid-range appendage.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 5:36 am 
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Pope Jim fell alseep reading that story... :smoke:


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 9:59 am 
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Plook needs a bath. He took a *SPAM*. Now he's standing there naked, wondering when the bathtub will appear. *SPAM* = c i a l i s, in case you needed a clue.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 10:23 am 
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Pope Jim thought he would try pussy for a change and had to rinse his mouth with vagisill afterwards... :smoke:


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 5:38 pm 
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Plook is so glad his Gary dog came home. Even though the congenital suck-up whined and squealed and spilled his guts to the Homeland Security thugs, Plook has forgiven him. He missed their late night forays in other people's basements and their deep, pointless, pseudo-intellectual discussions at Starbuck's afterwards.


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PostPosted: Thu Mar 14, 2013 6:05 pm 
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Pope Jim told Gary he was droping him off at a nice farm were he could play all day... :smoke:


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 15, 2013 3:36 am 
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Plook hocked up another hairball.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 15, 2013 5:06 am 
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Pope Jim out of kindness took in a couple ferrel cats, his not so secret basement is now over run and his neighbors are calling him the Cat Pope... :smoke:


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 15, 2013 5:46 am 
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Plook's looking forward to another slippery weekend in Cabo San Plookus. Reba McEntire and her new fluffer, Benedict, await him there.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 15, 2013 7:05 am 
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Pope Jim suffers from Fondue Envy and its Plookyness... :smoke:


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 15, 2013 7:46 am 
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Plook's been hanging around Dweezil again. That cloying political correctness is rubbing off on him. The neighbors are not calling me the Cat Pope. It's the Pussy Pope. Furthermore, all of the feral pussy here in the Beaver State is box trained. So put that in your fondue and stir it.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 15, 2013 8:03 am 
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Jim's choir boys squealed for a week before his eminence gave in and bought them all Flaming Lips tickets for the OC Fair.

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Manny da camper wants to buy some white!


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 15, 2013 12:04 pm 
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coevad Flaming Lips was a syndrom that caused all the women in Laguna Beach's lips to swell... :smoke:


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 16, 2013 3:12 am 
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Plook dreamed he was normal. He woke up screaming.


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 16, 2013 4:32 am 
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Pope Jim is the new normal... :smoke:


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 16, 2013 8:45 am 
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Plook woke up thinking he was Pope Jim. First thing he did was piss himself. Then he went upstairs to change his adult diaper. Hell with a shower, thought he; we can do that next week. He made coffee and oatmeal, ate and wondered what Plook was doing. Before he could make up a new lie and post it, he dozed off again.


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 16, 2013 4:26 pm 
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Pope Jim is hypnotising people thru the interwebs... :smoke:


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 16, 2013 6:28 pm 
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As Plook downed his seventh rum ricky, he thought of giving Reba a hicky. He barfed all over the table. The bar manager and the doorman/pimp quick-marched him out the door and threw him in the street, where a Neanderthal-looking biker almost made pressed possum out of him. He crawled back to the condo and barfed some more. Where's Gary? Where's Reba? Why is the bathroom light spinning? Who is John Galt?


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 16, 2013 6:32 pm 
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Pop Jim is the first Country and Western Kaiku writter... :smoke:


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