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PostPosted: Tue Jun 17, 2014 4:38 am 
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Location: Wellington New Zealand
It was a sad sad day in May when DaveO's career as the high revving Ginsutm knife wielding sales presenter on the local home shopping network (or home chopping network as it was called around the house) came to an abrupt end. The Japanese authorities had discovered that over two million teenaged girls nationwide had become obsessed by DaveO's dynamic twelve minute Ginsutm knife demonstrations, which unbeknown to Dave had been syndicated to Japan by the network. The number of Davo'tees, as they were known, had grown steadly since the original three minute spots were broadcast during the Anime Hour on two of the major networks throughout the last school holidays. Then along came the Ginsu 2000tm and honorable DavO'sans popularity along with sales went through the loof! News came through that rarge numbrers of excitered Ginsutm equripped girls were gathering to comprare brades. Unfortunatley when the network discovered that the Davo'tees were comparing blades not brades, the DaveO' Show, just like some kind of botched backstreet briss, it was suddenly pulled and cut......To this day DaveO' daren't visit the land of the rising sun, or sing karaoke....


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 17, 2014 1:10 pm 
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Location: Somewhere in time
Gray_Ghost is James Pattersons cover name... :wink:


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 18, 2014 9:00 am 
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Location: Orange County Ca.
Plook had Eggdrop Fondue for breakfast today. 8)

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 23, 2014 4:00 pm 
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coevad head is stuck in a perpetual up and down motion... :lol:


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 08, 2014 9:28 am 
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Plook did not cry upon viewing E.T.,
but did manage to regurgitate a half-eaten McD.L.T. upon viewing On Golden Pond.


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 08, 2014 9:59 am 
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Plook did not cry upon viewing E.T.,
but did manage to regurgitate a half-eaten McD.L.T. upon viewing On Golden Pond.


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 08, 2014 12:50 pm 
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Plook did not cry upon viewing E.T.,
but did manage to regurgitate a half-eaten McD.L.T. upon viewing On Golden Pond.


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 09, 2014 12:18 am 
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Plook did not cry upon viewing E.T.,
but did manage to regurgitate a half-eaten McD.L.T. upon viewing On Golden Pond.


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PostPosted: Wed Jul 09, 2014 2:52 am 
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Plook did not cry upon viewing E.T.,
but did manage to regurgitate a half-eaten McD.L.T. upon viewing On Golden Pond.


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PostPosted: Fri Jul 11, 2014 4:38 am 
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Back before stryper had even thought of tossing bibles into the crowd,
Plook once decapitated a small child via a flying farmers' almanac.


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 19, 2014 6:59 am 
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Lapsed maps was circumcised at the tender age of 3 :shock:
But wait!

The remaining foreskin was used to make headbands, slingshots,
and sleeping bags to serve as christmas gifts for cherished family members.


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 20, 2014 1:14 am 
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Location: Wellington New Zealand
Lapsed Maps wanted to take his newly acquired Tupperware franchise to the next level, Tommy his senior consultant advised caution, but the Lapareenee went all out, he not only went national, oh no, he went global. He booked the hotels he reserved the Grand Hyatt Conference Centre and sent out the 5000 platinum, gold was just so passe, embossed invitations. Everything was in place, he had all the latest TW stock including the brand new Veg-Out Storage Systemtm and of course the latest Zest'N Presstm, he was ready, nervous, but ready. Finally the big day, 9:00 am sharp. The Lapster, after a sleepless night, was there looking cool with his new vermilion coloured turban on a rakish angle. The staff of the Mumbai Grand Hyatt were prepared to greet the 5000 guests to the biggest Vishnudamed Tupperware party the world had ever seen. Eventually at 9:30am the fleet of coachs began arriving, The Lapamundo could hardly contain his excitement. With a hiss the hydraulic doors of the first coach opened and the driver emerged, and in his best Queens english advised poor old Lapo that his coach and the following 573 were all empty. No delegates, no hosts, no consultants, nobody. Mr. Maps was, to say the least, shattered. How could this have happened? what had gone wrong? "Shut the fuck up dear reader and I'll tell you" Unfortunately when the Lapster had been researching the hotels and venues for the party to end all partys, the maps he used had, how can I put this, lapsed. The invitees to the extravaganza had thought it was some kind of prank as the embossed invitations were dated 1st of April and were to a city named Bombay, so nobody came. Nobody that is except The Lapmeister, he came multiple times with a lady of the early evening, but that's a tale or should that be tail for another day.....Nameste.


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PostPosted: Sun Jul 20, 2014 7:49 am 
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In January 1917, Gray_Ghost's wife left him for John Straube, a handyman who boarded with the Ghost family. Gray_Ghost then had to raise his children as a single parent. He began to have auditory hallucinations. He once wrapped himself in a carpet, saying that he was following the instructions of John the Apostle.

It was about this time that Gray_Ghost began to indulge in self-harm. He would embed needles into his groin and abdomen. After his arrest, X-rays revealed that Ghost had at least 29 needles lodged in his pelvic region. He also hit himself repeatedly with a nail-studded paddle and inserted wool doused with lighter fluid into his anus and set it alight. Whilst he has never thought to have physically attacked or abused his children, he did encourage them and their friends to paddle his buttocks with the same nail-studded paddle he used to abuse himself. He soon developed a growing obsession with cannibalism, often preparing himself a dinner consisting solely of raw meat, and sometimes serving it to his children.


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PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2014 2:45 pm 
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Location: Orange County Ca.
Although lapsed maps will not admit it, he was in the passenger seat here, and actually ordered the nuggets with his soon-to-be ex girlfriend. They broke up before noon.

http://youtu.be/7x1iRyDumiE

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PostPosted: Mon Jul 21, 2014 4:53 pm 
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Location: Wellington New Zealand
coevad wrote:
Although lapsed maps will not admit it, he was in the passenger seat here, and actually ordered the nuggets with his soon-to-be ex girlfriend. They broke up before noon.

http://youtu.be/7x1iRyDumiE



"Don't make me assume my ultimate form" hahahahhahhahahahhahahahhahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahahahhahahah....I think I just wet my pants


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2014 5:09 am 
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Location: Royal Wootton Bassett
Gray_Ghost wishes he was Australian.

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Trendmonger wrote:
...and but also


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2014 6:33 am 
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NuclearProstate's birthday party will be held at McDonald's.
The ghost of Flip Wilson will be popping out of the (texas sheet) cake.
Bring a canned good/show tits at the door for a dollar off admission!


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2014 6:44 am 
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Location: south midlands, UK
lapsed maps is addicted to cinema food, and under drs orders can now only enjoy it vicariously.

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PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2014 7:55 am 
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Location: Somewhere in time
deuces real name is uno... :smoke:


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2014 8:24 am 
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Plook cut this teeth in 1987 as a tap dancing act in sweden under the moniker Meatball Dunkin'.


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2014 8:29 am 
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Location: Somewhere in time
lapsed maps can't go anywhere without using GPS... :smoke:


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PostPosted: Tue Jul 22, 2014 8:36 am 
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Plooks thinks that GPS actually stands for Grand Piano Segues... :smoke:


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 26, 2014 1:45 am 
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Lapsed maps atually invented (the game) cornhole.
However, in it's early stages, the beanbags were bullfrogs
and the board was made of cigar boxes and "lil sister's hair".

Also, the game's original running title up until the late 80's was "buttfuck"
until city folk stepped in and made their high society revisions.


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 26, 2014 8:06 am 
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Joined: Sat Nov 09, 2013 6:22 pm
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Location: In My Video
lapsed maps forgot his way home. His map failed.


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 26, 2014 8:32 am 
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Location: south midlands, UK
Philo thinks FLT exhaust is food, and biodiesel is his favourite vegetable.

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