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PostPosted: Sat Mar 21, 2009 5:02 pm 
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Thanks for the clarification.

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 21, 2009 5:26 pm 
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calvin2hikers wrote:
adamsoon wrote:
Calvin,
My brother is a habitual liar. When confronted about his ridiculous stories, he denies he is lying. It's maddening not to be able to believe your own brother. What can I do?

Seeking the truth in Toledo


As a person who tests well above genius levels, was voted one of "Top 10 World's Hunkiest Men", and leaves any woman quivering in waves of orgasmic ecstasy, it's hard for me to relate to any defects in human beings. But as I am a PHD to the third power, I'll try and answer your question. Any time you anticipate he is participating in a prevarication, say "Uh uh!" over and over until he gets tired of it and tells you the truth.

"Uh, uh!" Thanks Bro', er...Calvin. I'll try that.


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 21, 2009 7:15 pm 
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thatstuffisverybadforyou wrote:
Thanks for the clarification.


Oh, uh, you're welcome?

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 7:06 am 
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Calvin,

Why do shoes come in different sizes? For example, I saw a size 12 at one store, but then at another store I saw a size 8.

Signed,
Confused in Coweta

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 5:12 pm 
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feetlightup wrote:
Calvin,

Why do shoes come in different sizes? For example, I saw a size 12 at one store, but then at another store I saw a size 8.

Signed,
Confused in Coweta


Dude.

I'm surprised you're mentioning this. This is 9/11, grassy knoll conspiracy stuff. I mean, even the most conspiraciest people don't talk about this. I would delete your message, burn your computer, and become a dental hygienist in a foreign country. Don't tell me which one or I'll have to burn my computer, but I don't want to, because I just got it and it's nice.

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PostPosted: Tue Mar 24, 2009 7:11 pm 
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I understand that if you know the equation there is no need to ask such questions......

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Everytime we picked a booger we'd flip it on this one winduh. Every night we'd contribute, 2, 3, 4 boogers. We had to use a putty knife, man, to get them damn things off the winduh. There was some goober ones that weren't even hard...


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 28, 2009 12:58 pm 
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Dear Calvin,
I have a fear of heights, but I live in a high-rise building. What should I do?
Signed, Nervous in New York

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 28, 2009 10:21 pm 
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Galoot Co-Log-Nuh wrote:
Dear Calvin,
I have a fear of heights, but I live in a high-rise building. What should I do?
Signed, Nervous in New York



Cover all the windows with construction paper. Have an artist come in and paint on said paper as if you were living in a basement apartment.

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 15, 2009 5:48 pm 
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I may have to retire the shingle. Nobody's asking for advice.

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 24, 2010 9:28 pm 
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Dear Calvin,
What's the difference between Sir Ius Rincewind & Sabretoophairy ?

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 24, 2010 10:44 pm 
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Tripmyster wrote:
Dear Calvin,
What's the difference between Sir Ius Rincewind & Sabretoophairy ?


I suspect they are the same person, but I have no idea since I've got them both foe'd. Usernames?

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 25, 2010 10:02 am 
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Dear Calvin - - What is reality?

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Everytime we picked a booger we'd flip it on this one winduh. Every night we'd contribute, 2, 3, 4 boogers. We had to use a putty knife, man, to get them damn things off the winduh. There was some goober ones that weren't even hard...


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PostPosted: Fri Nov 26, 2010 6:11 pm 
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So Calvin, which should I choose...

On one hand I could likely take a job that I'd have to move about 5 hours away for...same pay but lose my "cheap living" here.... It's a job I'm lukewarm for at best, tepid better describes it...naaa... probably will be like a fish out of water because I'm used to road life for 22 years but this job I'll have to go to the same place every day...but the money's good...


OR...

I could go on unemployment and goto college for computer science which when added to my experience and load of certifications would make me a good candidate to get some other job later, probably one I would like better than the one in "Option A." Also, about once a month I see a job I am qualified for go by in the company that just laid me off....I can't be rehired for a year, but by then I'll be nearing the end of school, and unemployment, and have friends at this company so could quite possibly get back in, (and get all my seniority back...and it would be the kind of work I like a lot).


So option A is crappy but certain work that I have to move for...
option B is a new computer science degree with unemployment living, and no definate job later.

What should I do?

Signed,
Confounded in Connecticut.

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PostPosted: Fri Nov 26, 2010 6:27 pm 
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Ronny's Noomies wrote:
Dear Calvin - - What is reality?


It's the answer to your question as you perceive it.

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PostPosted: Fri Nov 26, 2010 6:33 pm 
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baddy wrote:
So Calvin, which should I choose...

On one hand I could likely take a job that I'd have to move about 5 hours away for...same pay but lose my "cheap living" here.... It's a job I'm lukewarm for at best, tepid better describes it...naaa... probably will be like a fish out of water because I'm used to road life for 22 years but this job I'll have to go to the same place every day...but the money's good...


OR...

I could go on unemployment and goto college for computer science which when added to my experience and load of certifications would make me a good candidate to get some other job later, probably one I would like better than the one in "Option A." Also, about once a month I see a job I am qualified for go by in the company that just laid me off....I can't be rehired for a year, but by then I'll be nearing the end of school, and unemployment, and have friends at this company so could quite possibly get back in, (and get all my seniority back...and it would be the kind of work I like a lot).


So option A is crappy but certain work that I have to move for...
option B is a new computer science degree with unemployment living, and no definate job later.

What should I do?

Signed,
Confounded in Connecticut.


Wasn't it Dylan Thomas who said "Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rage at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light."

So I would take that to mean you should move during the day and not at night when it's harder to see when you're driving. And you misspelled definite, so I don't see any happy ending at college, unless you meet a masseuse.

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 08, 2010 8:52 am 
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Dear Calvin,
I have been trying to reach a forum member named "immersive". I have had no luck contacting him telepathically. What should I do?
Signed,
Telepathically Challenged

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 08, 2010 9:18 am 
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I just "sent" you the message on what to do.

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 08, 2010 9:59 am 
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Dear Calvin,
I'm not feeling the holiday spirit this year. How can I make my mood a little more Christmasy?

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PostPosted: Wed Dec 08, 2010 12:52 pm 
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Philmore wrote:
Dear Calvin,
I'm not feeling the holiday spirit this year. How can I make my mood a little more Christmasy?


Watch this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5N4EFVgtB0Y

and drink a gallon of eggnog.

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 12:08 am 
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Calvin how do I keep cats out of my garden with out shooting them ?

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 12:54 pm 
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1. A dog
2. "Mark your territory"
3. Land mines
4. Giant glue traps
5. In the ground "cat"apults (hee hee) that fling them miles away
6. Knives

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 1:38 pm 
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Poor kitties!

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 1:48 pm 
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sabrinaIII wrote:
Poor kitties!


It's called "tough love".

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PostPosted: Thu Dec 09, 2010 11:24 pm 
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calvin2hikers wrote:
sabrinaIII wrote:
Poor kitties!


It's called "tough love".


No more Kitties in the garden,i put moth balls in the garden.

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PostPosted: Fri Dec 10, 2010 3:45 am 
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Tripmyster wrote:
calvin2hikers wrote:
sabrinaIII wrote:
Poor kitties!


It's called "tough love".


No more Kitties in the garden,i put moth balls in the garden.


Moth balls? How did you do that?

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