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PostPosted: Tue Jan 18, 2011 8:50 pm 
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I found an oyster so I shucked it. :mrgreen:

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 3:45 am 
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Calvin -
While I have been lucky enough to have gotten this far without any cavities, should I hold out hope for a cure to tooth decay? And if so should I buy a ribbon with a slogan written on it for some cause, or so some doctor can test mouse teeth or something?
Thanks,
- RK

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 19, 2011 6:20 am 
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Should I stay, or should I go?

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 21, 2011 3:05 pm 
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Dear Cal

I was riding the bus and the other passangers were complaning about my Boom Box, I need my walkin around music what can I do?

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Luv 2 Jam


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PostPosted: Sat Jan 22, 2011 9:26 pm 
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The Forum Killed Arkay wrote:
Calvin -
While I have been lucky enough to have gotten this far without any cavities, should I hold out hope for a cure to tooth decay? And if so should I buy a ribbon with a slogan written on it for some cause, or so some doctor can test mouse teeth or something?
Thanks,
- RK


Stem Cells For Tooth Decay! The ribbon is black.

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PostPosted: Sat Jan 22, 2011 9:27 pm 
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Mr_Green_Genes wrote:
Should I stay, or should I go?


Oh won't you stay, just a little bit longer?

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PostPosted: Sat Jan 22, 2011 9:32 pm 
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Plook wrote:
Dear Cal

I was riding the bus and the other passangers were complaning about my Boom Box, I need my walkin around music what can I do?

Sign Me
Luv 2 Jam


Technology has increased greatly since the days of the boom box. Now you can use a stun gun and put them suckers down when they complain.

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 23, 2011 2:13 am 
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calvin2hikers wrote:
Huck_Phlem wrote:
Dear Calvin I was sitting here in the john and wanted to write some poetry. What rhymes with Nantucket?


I think bucket.

While strolling across a farm in Nantucket
I happened to trip on a bucket
I thought as I lay
There in the hay
I should've just gone done to Pawtucket.

I know of no other possiblity in the English language.



I can think of one other rhyme:
There was an Old Man of Nantucket
Who was known to swear in a bucket
The people in town
Greeted him with a frown
And promoted a law to ban "fuck it". :oops:

Please help me to improve my poetry skills, Cal
signed former spotty teenage poet.

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 23, 2011 2:02 pm 
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Caputh wrote:
calvin2hikers wrote:
Huck_Phlem wrote:
Dear Calvin I was sitting here in the john and wanted to write some poetry. What rhymes with Nantucket?


I think bucket.

While strolling across a farm in Nantucket
I happened to trip on a bucket
I thought as I lay
There in the hay
I should've just gone done to Pawtucket.

I know of no other possiblity in the English language.



I can think of one other rhyme:
There was an Old Man of Nantucket
Who was known to swear in a bucket
The people in town
Greeted him with a frown
And promoted a law to ban "fuck it". :oops:

Please help me to improve my poetry skills, Cal
signed former spotty teenage poet.


Any fool can make a rhyme -
Cowboys do it all the time.

I would not put forth the notion that I am a poet of any sort or type, so I have no idea how to impart that knowledge to one who wishes to promulgate such a trait or talent.

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 23, 2011 6:09 pm 
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Dear Calvin,

My daughter, who just turned five, seems to have no interest in learning how to swing herself on the swing set. Kids half her size are already swinging by themselves, yet she just sits there and whines, hoping someone will push her. Also, she's radioactive. What should I do?

Yours,
Concerned & a Bit (*fffoom*) Gassy, sorry

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 23, 2011 11:14 pm 
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Dear Cal,
I have been plunged into deep depression by the discovery that one of my greatest idols is not so all-knowing and omniscient as I believed him to be. Should I look for new idols?
Yours,
The Image Crack'd.

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 25, 2011 2:26 pm 
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Dear Cal

I forgot to change my underwear for a week and when I took it off my dog ran off with it and I can't find it, I left something in there that I need, now what do I do?

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 25, 2011 5:02 pm 
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Dear Cal...

The other day some stray dog came to my front lawn with a pair of mens underwear and in it were some kind of schematics for some complicated networking system or other. Who keeps that kind of stuff in their underwear?

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 25, 2011 5:52 pm 
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feetlightup wrote:
Dear Calvin,

My daughter, who just turned five, seems to have no interest in learning how to swing herself on the swing set. Kids half her size are already swinging by themselves, yet she just sits there and whines, hoping someone will push her. Also, she's radioactive. What should I do?

Yours,
Concerned & a Bit (*fffoom*) Gassy, sorry


That reminds me, do you remember the song that Jimmy Page band (The Firm?) did with the weird riff? "Cause I'm radioactive (deedle deedle doodle deedle doodle dee dee)" Cool riff.

As for your problem, it's actually a miracle in disguise. Remember what happened to Peter Parker? Have your daughter bite your wife or yourself, and you will become a superhero who thwarts villains by hurling swing sets at their heads.

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 25, 2011 5:53 pm 
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Caputh wrote:
Dear Cal,
I have been plunged into deep depression by the discovery that one of my greatest idols is not so all-knowing and omniscient as I believed him to be. Should I look for new idols?
Yours,
The Image Crack'd.


Nope, no new idols for you. Who's been spreading those lies about me?

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 25, 2011 5:58 pm 
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Plook wrote:
Dear Cal

I forgot to change my underwear for a week and when I took it off my dog ran off with it and I can't find it, I left something in there that I need, now what do I do?

Sign Me

Need a Solution


Nah, your wife keeps those in her purse. OH NO I DIDN'T JUST GO THERE, WHOOP WHOOP!!!

But no, seriously, I hear private detectives are really cheap on this kind of thing.

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 25, 2011 6:01 pm 
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Huck_Phlem wrote:
Dear Cal...

The other day some stray dog came to my front lawn with a pair of mens underwear and in it were some kind of schematics for some complicated networking system or other. Who keeps that kind of stuff in their underwear?


Not Plook, that's for sure. Your call, ad in the paper, Ebay, or foreign country. Whichever gives you the best deal.

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 26, 2011 10:26 pm 
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Dear Cal

I was working in the fields and lost a needle in a haystack, been looking for for three days, any ideas on how to narrow the search?

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Trying to reduce my work load


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 7:22 am 
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Dear Cal - -

I'm thinking about running for president. Any advice?

RN

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 10:00 am 
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Dear Cal,
I have secretly heard that a forum member wants to run for President - what can I do to encourage him?

signed
Seehowyoulikeit

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 10:52 am 
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Dear Calvin,

A close friend of mine is running for President, and needs some dirt on Ronnie's Noomies so she can produce some negative campaign ads. Any highly sensitive personal data you can share?

Yours,
Sara Paylen
(just a regular ol' civilian, ok)

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 11:43 am 
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Dear Cal how can I convince the forum members that voting for president is the least of their worries but instead to make sure that your favorite uh'Merikin Idle contestant gets their due.

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 8:36 pm 
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Oh shit. I can't run for president, it's American Idol season. Never mind.

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Everytime we picked a booger we'd flip it on this one winduh. Every night we'd contribute, 2, 3, 4 boogers. We had to use a putty knife, man, to get them damn things off the winduh. There was some goober ones that weren't even hard...


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 27, 2011 10:51 pm 
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Huck_Phlem wrote:
I found an oyster so I shucked it. :mrgreen:
This was quite clever, am I the only one who noticed it?

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 5:54 pm 
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polydigm wrote:
Huck_Phlem wrote:
I found an oyster so I shucked it. :mrgreen:
This was quite clever, am I the only one who noticed it?

Aw shucks,I guess we missed that pearl. :mrgreen:

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