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PostPosted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 6:03 pm 
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Dear Cal,
I was thinking of investing some money to open up the Grand Ole Opry. Is this a good idea?
Signed, Howdee!

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 7:25 pm 
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Plook wrote:
Dear Cal

I was working in the fields and lost a needle in a haystack, been looking for for three days, any ideas on how to narrow the search?

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Trying to reduce my work load


A big fucking magnet. Not a sexual one like me, but a real magnet.

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 7:27 pm 
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To all the presidential talk - it's either Nader or Paul, c'mon, you know that. I can't give advice or support anyone else.

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 28, 2011 7:29 pm 
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Galoot Co-Log-Nuh wrote:
Dear Cal,
I was thinking of investing some money to open up the Grand Ole Opry. Is this a good idea?
Signed, Howdee!


Holy shit, yes. Book only polka and zydeco acts. License to print your own freakin' money.

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PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2011 10:32 am 
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Location: Chicago, sort of.
Dear Cal,

I'm a Cub fan. Is there anything I can do?

RN

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PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2011 10:45 am 
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Dear Cal,
After expressing the opinion that the Rolling Stones, prior to the death of Brian Jones were a "druggy, interesting band", but since the death of Brian Jones are a "druggy jam band", I find friends and acquaintances avoiding me. Should I stand up for my opinions or pretend that "Goat's Head Soup" is as good as "Their Satanic Majesties Request"?

Signed,
Keith is a druggy dork.

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PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2011 12:42 pm 
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Ronny's Noomies wrote:
Dear Cal,

I'm a Cub fan. Is there anything I can do?

RN


Just wait until they capture the World Series! You'll be long gone by then, unfortunately.

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PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2011 2:38 pm 
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Location: Home of The Mondavi Center.
Dear Calvin,
Q#1-Going by how the shallow media,types us,judges us and catagorize us by looks,do you think The Rolling Stones and The Grateful Dead should have switched names.Wouldn't it fit both groups now more than ever?
Q#2-Do you think the Media would rather have Keith Richards die of a drug overdose,or killed by a drug crazed,commune bred,nut,hippie,pinko,commie,whacko,who was only following Charlie's orders :twisted: .Or....die of natural causes,decades from now,surrounded by his loving family?
Signed,
What would inquiring minds prefer and why? :?

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PostPosted: Sat Jan 29, 2011 3:10 pm 
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Dear Cal

I took a loan a while back from this guy named Rocko, he has continually been calling and showing up making threats, should a pay him or call his bluff?

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 31, 2011 7:06 pm 
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Caputh wrote:
Dear Cal,
After expressing the opinion that the Rolling Stones, prior to the death of Brian Jones were a "druggy, interesting band", but since the death of Brian Jones are a "druggy jam band", I find friends and acquaintances avoiding me. Should I stand up for my opinions or pretend that "Goat's Head Soup" is as good as "Their Satanic Majesties Request"?

Signed,
Keith is a druggy dork.


It's all Keith's fault. Death by misadventure? Shyeah, right! I like some of the Mick Taylor stuff. Ron Wood is a non-entity, but I liked Some Girls.

Don't ever back down from your opinions. Goat's Head Soup? Goat's Head Crap.

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 31, 2011 7:11 pm 
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KAPT.KIIRK wrote:
Dear Calvin,
Q#1-Going by how the shallow media,types us,judges us and catagorize us by looks,do you think The Rolling Stones and The Grateful Dead should have switched names.Wouldn't it fit both groups now more than ever?
Q#2-Do you think the Media would rather have Keith Richards die of a drug overdose,or killed by a drug crazed,commune bred,nut,hippie,pinko,commie,whacko,who was only following Charlie's orders :twisted: .Or....die of natural causes,decades from now,surrounded by his loving family?
Signed,
What would inquiring minds prefer and why? :?


#1 - I really don't care. The Grateful Dead should have been thankful just to have careers making boring jam band 3rd rate blues songs. I'd say more about the Stones but Caputh would punch me.

#2. Simultaneous death of both Keith and Mick with Keith's little Keith on Mick Jagger's tongue.

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 31, 2011 7:12 pm 
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Plook wrote:
Dear Cal

I took a loan a while back from this guy named Rocko, he has continually been calling and showing up making threats, should a pay him or call his bluff?

Sign Me
Refusing the offer


Call his bluff. I hear that a patellectomy is quite common these days and you don't live with the pain as long.

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PostPosted: Thu Feb 03, 2011 9:24 am 
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Dear Cal,
I have to bear false witness against my neighbor. What should I do?

Signed,
Confused about the Fifth

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PostPosted: Thu Feb 03, 2011 12:20 pm 
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Dear Cal

I am considering spraying my yard for bugs, but I am concerned about the Karmic ramifications of such a holocost against the little guys, your thoughts.

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The ultimate solution


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 03, 2011 3:59 pm 
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Location: Chicago, sort of.
Yeah, I was wondering the same thing, only with cats and dogs. Any advice?

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Everytime we picked a booger we'd flip it on this one winduh. Every night we'd contribute, 2, 3, 4 boogers. We had to use a putty knife, man, to get them damn things off the winduh. There was some goober ones that weren't even hard...


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 11, 2011 9:27 pm 
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Location: Windsor,Ontario Canada
Dear Cal,
I have the winter blues is there any cure for this ?

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 11, 2011 9:29 pm 
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Galoot Co-Log-Nuh wrote:
Dear Cal,
I have to bear false witness against my neighbor. What should I do?

Signed,
Confused about the Fifth


Move. Nothing is more shameful. Nothing.

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 11, 2011 9:35 pm 
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Plook wrote:
Dear Cal

I am considering spraying my yard for bugs, but I am concerned about the Karmic ramifications of such a holocost against the little guys, your thoughts.

Sign Me

The ultimate solution


Quote:
Yeah, I was wondering the same thing, only with cats and dogs. Any advice?



For every million bugs you kill, you get arthritis in a different metacarpal. The ramifications for cats and dogs is not known, but there's some evidence that you get dropsy and the bends for a few weeks.

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 11, 2011 9:39 pm 
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Tripmyster wrote:
Dear Cal,
I have the winter blues is there any cure for this ?


Download the entire Barry Manilow discography. Play twice. If this doesn't make you happier than Jimmy Page playing at a Sweet Sixteen party, then just end it.

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PostPosted: Sat Feb 12, 2011 1:18 pm 
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Location: South wales
when did freddie mercury start dressing in leather :mrgreen:

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PostPosted: Mon Feb 14, 2011 2:50 pm 
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Dear Cal

If one finds a Troll, should you starve it to death or feed it, it seems if one feeds it they can have fun with it but you run the risk of it getting to wordy and you may have to deal with it far more than you care to...your thoughts?

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PostPosted: Tue Feb 15, 2011 4:26 am 
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If I find a troll, should I show him a goat to scare the wits out of him? I'm worried about Q fever.

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PostPosted: Tue May 24, 2011 6:33 pm 
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Plook wrote:
Dear Cal

If one finds a Troll, should you starve it to death or feed it, it seems if one feeds it they can have fun with it but you run the risk of it getting to wordy and you may have to deal with it far more than you care to...your thoughts?

Sign Me

Found something in the short forrest


I'd treat them to maybe a perm on that awful hair that sticks straight up.

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PostPosted: Tue May 24, 2011 6:35 pm 
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Good to see you back Cal..more questions to follow... :D


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PostPosted: Wed May 25, 2011 12:15 pm 
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BBP wrote:
If I find a troll, should I show him a goat to scare the wits out of him? I'm worried about Q fever.


Dance and jungle fevers I am familiar with, but not Q.

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