Zappa.com

Dear Cal,

By accident I took my wife's credit card this morning. What should I do?

Signed,
Plastic burning a hole in my pocket

_________________
"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."

Dear Cal,

Where were you when the lights went out?

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Country music + Black music = Rock and Roll

Spend like a madman, blame it on thieves

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You gotta give the people something good to read, on a Sunday

In Georgia. They hung an innocent man, but I didn't like him much.

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You gotta give the people something good to read, on a Sunday

Dear Cal

There are so many investment possibilities out there, where do you rcommend I invest my piggy bank money?

Sign Me

Broke the Porcine Porcelain

Dear Cal,
Was the guy they got in Sirte a double (or a treble)?
Signed,
Confused, Misrata (btw, "misraten" means something that has not been successfully achieved in German)

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The more I learn, the less I know.

1. Put it all on the Washington Generals ("They're due!")

2. Send it to me, I'll invest it wisely* (*no guarantee and I'll probably just spend it all on blow and hookers)

3. Civil War Chess Sets

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You gotta give the people something good to read, on a Sunday

We established days before the event that he was at the Sands in Vegas doing Dylan covers. Would he give up that gig to go get killed in his hometown? Phhht.

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You gotta give the people something good to read, on a Sunday

Dear Cal,

I am stuck in traffic with someone in front of me who has XTC's Making Plans for Nigel on infinite repeat.
What should I do?

Signed,
Assault with intent.

_________________
"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."

I haven't heard the song so it can't be good. Ram them until it stops.

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You gotta give the people something good to read, on a Sunday

Dear Cal

I’m considering become a Bee keeper, to Bee or not to Bee, that is the question?

Sign Me

A taste of honey

Dear Cal,
I want to know who Trendmonger is.
Should I start a new topic with that as a question or do you know who he is. His first name is Gary isn't it and I know that Gail has addressed him at least once.
Is he in any way connected to the ZFT or just a complete twat?

Yours sincerely

TND

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"drums are too noisy, 'n you've got no corners to hide in"

The bee industry is glutted with keepers right now. I'd look into possibly whale spotting or gingko sniffer.

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You gotta give the people something good to read, on a Sunday

Uh, so solly senor, me not understanda the inglais

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You gotta give the people something good to read, on a Sunday

Dear cal. Did you just turn Asian or Latino? So solly,but I gotsta know.

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I'm getting larger as I walk away.

Nyet, befälhavare på båt.

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You gotta give the people something good to read, on a Sunday

Dear cal ,would Yo Mama slap you for saying that?

Befuddled & illitorate in The Haight.

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I'm getting larger as I walk away.

dear cal, is it true that last xmas is pure evil and that it can possess your soul? if yes, where can i find help?

Equating any song by Wham! to evil is an untruth. You must let it wash over you and elate your day.

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You gotta give the people something good to read, on a Sunday

Dear Cal

Has Halloween become a meaningless commercialized Holiday with at any substance?

Sign Me

Ain't Afraid of No Ghost

They all are! It's the government's attempt to keep us all mollified while they screw us over royally! All holidays are like that! It's a conspiracy of EPIC proportions!

But give me a Mounds bar, and I'm happy.

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You gotta give the people something good to read, on a Sunday

Dear Cal

You being the all knowing one, what is your forcast for this Winter?

Sign Me Popsicle Toes

WTF? You live in California, you douc....um, I predict coldness here in the mid-west followed by coldness.

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You gotta give the people something good to read, on a Sunday

Dear Cal

What would the proper clothing for a Midwest Winter?

Sign Me

Still wearing shorts in Sunny california

Dear Cal,
In connection with Plook's erudite query...
Is climate change merely a myth, invented by greedy scientists? Or are the critics even more greedy than the scientists they claim are greedy?

Signed,
should I buy woolen underwear or a mankini?

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The more I learn, the less I know.