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PostPosted: Sun May 28, 2006 11:47 am 
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What's a chav in a box...

In it Image

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PostPosted: Sun May 28, 2006 12:45 pm 
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PostPosted: Sun May 28, 2006 3:26 pm 
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When did Paul McCartney write 'Silly Love Songs'

1962-2006

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PostPosted: Tue May 30, 2006 6:33 am 
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FeralCats wrote:
punknaynowned wrote:
I don't get it, maybe I'm thick today.
Chav's are male youths who do nothin but cause trouble?
This sounds like every 14 yr old boy I've ever met, in the right environment.
but then again, I live in a college town. So I guess we have older versions of the same thing. We call them frat boys.


it is my understanding that they are people who 'rebel' by being exactly like everyone else. Sorta like upperclass white kids listening to and 'relating' to Gangsta rap.

Why can't all people listen and enjoy 'Gangsta rap' withou rebelling in any way? :roll:
That's like saying working class kids aren't allowed to listen any classical music.

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PostPosted: Tue May 30, 2006 12:25 pm 
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a man found a tongue in his shoe...and the tongue said to the toe:
hi i'm a catholic girl tongue, are you the pope's penis?
:roll:


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PostPosted: Wed May 31, 2006 9:11 am 
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Why do women have pussy's?

So men will talk to them :)

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 Post subject: Sleeping in a drawer...
PostPosted: Sat Jun 03, 2006 7:00 am 
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Ever spoon so much you wound up forking?


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 03, 2006 7:25 am 
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I just heard on the news that the Pope has Bird Flu! They say he got it from one of his cardinals.

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 03, 2006 8:19 am 
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 Post subject: Me-ow, bitch!
PostPosted: Sat Jun 03, 2006 1:16 pm 
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Grandma bought a nice old lamp at a yard sale. She brought it home and began cleaning it with a cloth. To her amazement, a vapor started coming out of the lamp. It formed magically before her eyes into a fantastic appariton of a genie.

The genie laughed boisterously and smiled wildly as he looked down on frail grandma. "Lady..." he said, "thank you so much for letting me out of that lamp! I shall now grant you three wishes!"

Grandma shook with fright, but eased up as the genie took her gently into his solid arms. "Well," she said coyly, "I suppose I'd like to be young and beautiful again," and BAM!...she was!

"O my!" sang grandma. "Not a problem," said the genie, "and what is your next wish?"

"Well," said grandma, "is there any reason I can't be beautiful and rich, too?"

The genie roared with laughter. "Lady, I like your style", and BAM!...the room was filled with treasure.

Grandma gasped with joy, and danced around on her treasure. Among the jewelry, she heard a muffled meow, and she rushed to extract her cat, who had beome entangled.

"O Walter!" she cried, "I'm rich and beautiful!" She danced around the room some more, swinging Walter along in her trembling arms. Suddenly, she had an idea. She looked up at the resting genie and said "One more wish, right?" The genie nodded in the affirmative.

"O! Would you turn my lovely cat Walter into a handsome prince?" ...and BAM!...Walter was a prince.

Grandma approached the prince and put out her hands, and he grasped them gently, and they gazed deeply into one another's eyes, and drew close, and snuggled lovingly.

Walter pressed his warm mouth gently to her ear. "I'll bet you're sorry that you had my nuts cut off now, eh bitch?"


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 06, 2006 3:15 pm 
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 10, 2006 7:51 am 
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Don't look here, the joke is in your hand...


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PostPosted: Thu Jul 20, 2006 11:56 pm 
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Location: Europe
Do you shop at Tesco's? Read about the Nationwide scam!

BE WARNED!

I don't how many of you shop at Tesco, but this may be useful to know. I am sending this to you to warn you of something that happened to me, as I have become a victim of a clever scam whilst out shopping. This happened to me at Tesco in Dundee and it could happen to you. Here's how the scam works: Two seriously good-looking 18-year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping in the boot. They both start wiping your windscreen with a rag and Windolene, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy t-shirts. It is impossible not to look. When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' and instead ask you for a ride to another Tesco. You agree and they get in the back seat. On the way, they start having sex with each other. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and performs oral sex on you, while the other one steals your wallet. I had my wallet stolen last Friday, Saturday, twice on Sunday, again on Tuesday, and also yesterday.

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 26, 2006 3:23 am 
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Location: Antarctica
There was this couple that had been married for 20
years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light.

Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous. She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one
night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights. She looked down and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated leisure device... a vibrator! It was soft, wonderful and larger than a real one. She went completely ballistic. "You impotent bastard," She screamed at him, "How could you be lying to me all of these years? You better explain yourself!"

The husband looks her straight in the eyes and says
calmly: "I'll explain the toy . . . you explain the kids."

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 26, 2006 8:08 am 
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What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

The Jesus picture will hang with just one nail.

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 26, 2006 9:54 am 
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BBP wrote:
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?

The Jesus picture will hang with just one nail.


hahahahahaha lmfao :mrgreen:

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 27, 2006 3:09 pm 
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Location: Wandering aimlessly through the American wasteland...
As I was cruising down a country lane, this big Chicken passed me by, doin' about 50! I followed it up the drive to a farm house, where the Chicken ran swiftly 'round the back.
The Farmer came over and asked, "Can I help you?"
"I just followed the fastest Chicken I've ever seen up here!", I exclaimed.
"Oh", the Farmer replied, "That's my Three Legged Chicken. Every Sunday Supper, my Wife would get a drumstick, my Mother-In-Law would get a drumstick, and I wouldn't get one, so I bred that Three Legged Chicken."
"That's amazing!", I said in awe, "How do they taste?"
The Farmer looked down, shook his head, and said, "Don't know, can't catch 'em."

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 28, 2006 10:10 am 
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- What happens when a T-Rex bites you?
....-.........You get a dino-sore.

- Why didn't the little girl want to leave nursery school?
....-........She wanted to be a nurse.

- What do you say when a dog runs away?
....-.......Dog-gone!

- What do prisoners use to call each other?
....-.......Cell phones.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Aug 28, 2006 11:53 pm 
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Screw the setup: here's the punchline.

There was Frank Zappa, decomposing....

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Aug 29, 2006 3:04 am 
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Wy can't Jesus eat M&M's?

They keep falling through the holes in his hands.

:)

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 29, 2006 11:37 am 
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There is a trucker on a line on the highway, suddenly a man from a charity collecting money speaks to him:
"Something terrible happened, George Bush is kidnapped by Al Qaida terrorists and they want a million dollars of ransom or else they will throw him all over the gasoline and set him on fire!"

The trucker:
"How much do the other truckers give?"

Charity man:
"1 or 2 litres."


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Aug 29, 2006 2:30 pm 
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:mrgreen: That one's great Ollo!


It's brown and sticky...





...a stick...

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PostPosted: Tue Aug 29, 2006 4:41 pm 
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Location: Aotearoa NZ
A seven year old Australian boy was at the centre of a courtroom drama today when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody
over him.
The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge awarded custody to his aunt. The boy confirmed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and refused to live there.
When the judge suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they beat him more than anyone.
The judge dramatically allowed the boy to choose who should have custody of him.

Custody was yesterday granted to the Australian Rugby team,
as the boy firmly believes that they are not capable of beating anyone.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Aug 29, 2006 5:43 pm 
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what was Hitler's favorite jazz song?

'there will never be another jew.'

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Sep 01, 2006 4:23 am 
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Weeeellll, cath-o-lick girls....

A train hits a bus load of catholic school girls and they all perish.
They are all in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates past St.Peter.

St. Peter asks first girl, "Karen, have you ever had any contact with a
penis?"

She giggles and shyly replies, "Well I once touched the head of one with
the tip of my finger.

St. Peter says, "OK, dip the tip of your finger in The Holy Water and
pass through the gate."

St. Peter asks the next girl the same question, "Karina have you ever
had any contact with a penis?"

The girl is a little reluctant but replies "Well once I fondled and
stroked one."

St.Peter says "OK, dip your whole hand in The Holy Water and pass
through the gate."

All of a sudden there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls, on e
girl is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she reaches the front
of the line St. Peter says "Susan! What seems to be the rush?"

The girl replies "If I'm going to have to gargle that Holy Water, I want
to do it before Josie sticks her ass in there!"

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