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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Thu May 24, 2012 12:29 am 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Thu May 24, 2012 9:00 am 
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Paddy and Mick go to London to donate sperm.
It was a disaster!
Paddy missed the tube and Mick came on the bus!

------------ --------- --------oOo- ------------------ -

A Muslim was sitting next to Paddy on a plane.
Paddy ordered a whisky.
The stewardess asked the Muslim if he'd like a drink.
He replied in disgust "I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips!"
Paddy handed his drink back and said
"Me too, I didn't know we had a choice!"


------------ --------- --------oOo- ------------------ -


Paddy calls Easyjet to book a flight.
The operator asks "How many people are flying with you?"
Paddy replies "I don't know! It’s your fookun plane!"


------------ --------- --------oOo- ------------------ -

Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site.
Paddy says to Murphy "I'm gonna have the day off,
I'm gonna pretend I'm mad!"
He climbs up the rafters, hangs upside down and shouts
"I'M A LIGHTBULB! I'M A LIGHTBULB!"
Murphy watches in amazement!
The Foreman shouts "Paddy you're mad, go home"
So he leaves the site.
Murphy starts packing his kit up to leave as well.
"Where the hell are you going?" asks the Foreman.
"I can't work in the friggin' dark!" says Murphy.


--------- --------oOo- --------- ---------


Two Irish couples decided to swap partners for the night.
After 3 hours of amazing sex, Paddy says "I wonder how the girls are getting on".

------------ --------- --------oOo- ------------------ -


Paddy takes his new wife to bed on their wedding night.
She undresses, lies on the bed spread-eagled and says
"You know what I want, don't you?"
"Yeah," says Paddy. "The whole fookun bed by the looks of it!"


------------ --------- --------oOo- ---------


Paddy, the electrician, got sacked from the U...S. prison service for not servicing the electric chair.
He said in his professional opinion it was a death trap!


------------ --------- --------oOo- --------- ---------


Paddy, the Irish boyfriend of the woman whose head was found on Arbroath beach was asked to identify her.
A detective held up the head to which point Paddy said "I don't think that's her, she wasn't that tall!"

------------ --------- --------oOo- --------- ---------


Paddy and his wife are lying in bed and the neighbours' dog is barking like mad in the garden.
Paddy says "To hell with this!" and storms off.
He comes back upstairs 5 minutes later and his wife asks "What did you do?"
Paddy replies "I've put the dog in our garden. Let's see how they like it!"


------------oOo- --------- --------- --------- -


Paddy is said to be shocked at finding out all his cows have Bluetongue.
"Be Jeysus!" he said, "I didn't even know they had mobile phones!"


------------oOOo-(_)-oOOo------------


Mick and Paddy are reading head stones at a nearby cemetery.
Mick says "Crikey! There's a bloke here who was 152!"
Paddy says "What's his name?"
Mick replies "Miles, from London!"

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Thu May 24, 2012 10:15 am 
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Those jokes are racist and demeaning to people of Irish descent.

In the name of the giant SPACEBROTHER King of ALL Correctness, I declare you...just plain doug...a racist and possible homophobe, and probable Ron Paul supporter!

For shame!


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Thu May 24, 2012 1:23 pm 
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A rope leash wrote:
Those jokes are racist and demeaning to people of Irish descent.

In the name of the giant SPACEBROTHER King of ALL Correctness, I declare you...just plain doug...a racist and possible homophobe, and probable Ron Paul supporter!

For shame!



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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Thu May 24, 2012 2:49 pm 
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A rope leash wrote:
Those jokes are racist and demeaning to people of Irish descent.

In the name of the giant SPACEBROTHER King of ALL Correctness, I declare you...just plain doug...a racist and possible homophobe, and probable Ron Paul supporter!

For shame!

Granddad was Irish, so I'm allowed to say that, nigga!

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Thu May 24, 2012 3:37 pm 
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A rope leash wrote:
Those jokes are racist and demeaning to people of Irish descent.

In the name of the giant SPACEBROTHER King of ALL Correctness, I declare you...just plain doug...a racist and possible homophobe, and probable Ron Paul supporter!

For shame!



There once was a homophobic racist Ron Paul supporter named a rope leash and downer mydnyte and diesel dummy and zombie and saggy nuts and...and...and...and...and...and...and...and...and...and...


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Thu May 24, 2012 4:14 pm 
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SPACEBROTHER wrote:
There once was a homophobic racist Ron Paul supporter named a rope leash and downer mydnyte and diesel dummy and zombie and saggy nuts and...and...and...and...and...and...and...and...and...and...

Worst limerick ever.

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Thu May 24, 2012 11:39 pm 
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Fooking hilarous! This Potato Headed Mick LMAO! Good one my fookin' PaddyZappaFreak brother,jpd! :mrgreen:

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Fri May 25, 2012 1:24 am 
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Mind if I use that sarcasm picture? :mrgreen:

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Fri May 25, 2012 5:44 am 
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Bad sarcasm, for sure...but totally appropriate.

The Irish are a large ethnic group that has taken far more than it's fair share of insults. Making jokes about them is not different than making jokes about African-Americans...or Mormons...or women.

If I am going to take a chewing from SPACEBROTHER for saying that the Soviets put thier detractors in mental institutions, and for misspelling pResident Obama's first name...if that makes me a racist and somewhow a homophobe, then Just P. Doug must be a horrible monster of the worst sort.

My Grandpa was Irish. One quarter of me is offended!

(it's still bad sarcasm...it actually takes quite a lot to offend me.)


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Fri May 25, 2012 9:25 am 
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A rope leash wrote:
...then Just P. Doug must be a horrible monster of the worst sort.

I gots ta be me!

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Fri May 25, 2012 11:41 am 
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It's obvious from the above, that despite his smooth, suave exterior, JPD is a mixture of Goebbels and Gorgo; I still Liked the jokes tho' :lol:

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Fri May 25, 2012 1:00 pm 
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Okay, just looked it up, since I only know Gonzo and Gurgi. Did you mean the queen of Sparta, the butterfly, or FZ's siamese cat with the vile character who had recently died when TRFZB was made?

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Fri May 25, 2012 2:18 pm 
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BBP wrote:
Okay, just looked it up, since I only know Gonzo and Gurgi. Did you mean the queen of Sparta, the butterfly, or FZ's siamese cat with the vile character who had recently died when TRFZB was made?

I thought (preferred?) he meant... Image

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Fri May 25, 2012 4:10 pm 
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A rope leash wrote:
Bad sarcasm, for sure...but totally appropriate.


Oh, Yeah, totally! - Like - sooo totally!

(I know that as soon as you start to throw dirt, you begin to lose ground, but....)

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Fri May 25, 2012 5:13 pm 
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BBP wrote:
Mind if I use that sarcasm picture? :mrgreen:


Mother duck awaits rescue squad after ducklings plummet into sar chasm:

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Terrorism blows you up
Nastiness grinds you down
Stupidity wears you out
The media sucks you in, drags you under
Politics does you over
Up, down, in, out, under, over!

But ducks...
Ducks just let you BE.

Michael Leunig


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Fri May 25, 2012 5:59 pm 
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Honey I just can't ball,
With those ducks,ducks,
Ducks on the wall.~ Ray Davies
:mrgreen:

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Sun May 27, 2012 4:46 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2012 1:48 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2012 2:06 pm 
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A rope leash wrote:
Bad sarcasm, for sure...but totally appropriate.

The Irish are a large ethnic group that has taken far more than it's fair share of insults. Making jokes about them is not different than making jokes about African-Americans...or Mormons...or women.

If I am going to take a chewing from SPACEBROTHER for saying that the Soviets put thier detractors in mental institutions, and for misspelling pResident Obama's first name...if that makes me a racist and somewhow a homophobe,...



What I don't understand is what the point is behind the creation of multiple identities on internet forums. It seems like a totally pointless waste of time. Whatever floats your boat I guess, but I must ask why...

Whats the point?



Another question. Where and when did we discuss anything about Soviets putting detractors in prison?


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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2012 4:14 pm 
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viewtopic.php?f=10&t=19887&start=225

Look there, SPACEBROTHER...first post...you quoted my reply to a post by Caputh on another thread..."How very Soviet of you", I said, when Caputh said something about a European political party being full of crazy people.

You used the quote to label me as a bigot.

ha ha ha...funny, I guess...

Since you don't seem to recall, yet there it is at the link...I have a paranoid fantasy that will match your delusion of multiple forum identities...

...here it is...

"SPACEBROTHER" is a forum identity used by several different operatives of governmental agencies out to deride free-thinking freedom lovers. Yep! "SPACEBROTHER" is the Frank Zappa account used by government spooks to derail any common sense discussion of the truth about our country and who runs it!

Gotcha!

ha ha ha!


Last edited by A rope leash on Tue May 29, 2012 4:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2012 4:29 pm 
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What's 13 times two?

(see last two posts)

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Tue May 29, 2012 10:35 pm 
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A rope leash wrote:
http://www.zappa.com/messageboard/viewtopic.php?f=10&t=19887&start=225

Look there, SPACEBROTHER...first post...you quoted my reply to a post by Caputh on another thread..."How very Soviet of you", I said, when Caputh said something about a European political party being full of crazy people.

You used the quote to label me as a bigot.

ha ha ha...funny, I guess...

Since you don't seem to recall, yet there it is at the link...


Ah yes. I remember that conversation now.

Nice try chump. This part of the conversation between you and I had nothing to do with Caputh, or anything he said...

This was the actual conversation that started with my response to your racist post. Particularly the line I highlighted...
viewtopic.php?p=538111#p538111

SPACEBROTHER wrote:
A rope leash wrote:
...Barak Obama has religious beliefs, but no one knows exactly what they are. He belongs to the Trinity United Church of Christ, which is sort of a "meh, do what you want" kind of church. As a child, he was indoctrinated at both Muslim and Christian schools...


So you hate black people and Muslims. Fits the profile of a typical Ron Paul supporter and/or Republican.


You're stance is lifted right from the whole Birther/Tea Party/KKK corporate mass media talking point. My interpretation of your statement is, because he's black, then thats an excuse to discredit a guy who is a better leader than your guy. It pisses you off because he's black. I can see that in your statements from hundreds of miles away.


Your response that immediatly followed mine was this one, which incidently, also had absolutely nothing to do with Caputh, or any such discussion with him. Again, I highlighted the part you are now trying to backpedal on...
viewtopic.php?p=538134#p538134
A rope leash wrote:
What exactly in that statement makes you think I hate blacks and Muslims?

Are you trying to piss me off?

I hate all people equally, but you are beginning to carve out a special place in my heart.

The simple fact is, I don't enter into political arguments to be defamed and libeled by idiots.

You don't know a goddamned thing about me, but you think you can call me a racist bigot? Your evidence is a post about Obama's religious beliefs?

What the fuck is wrong with you? Your boy is probably going to win the election, but that isn't enough for you? You have to condemn everyone who is not for your boy? How very Soviet of you!

Well, let me say this, SPACEBROTHER...you are the most misguided, gullible, brainwashed, and completely errant fool I've ever seen wasting time posting on an obscure rock star fan forum. Your mind is totally controlled. You believe everything the corporate media tells you, and you actually think Democratic party propaganda is seriously factual.

It's apples and oranges to me, and I've done what I can to show you the difference, but you are just to stupid to learn.

But, know this motherfucker, I don't take kindly to accusations of racism and bigotry. I'm a lot less racist than you, dickhead. I tend to hate people on an individual basis, after I get to know them, and while I don't know you, I usually don't like ignorant people who think they have a corner on truth. It sickens me.

So why don't you go fuck yourself, you whiney prick?


You were addressing me, not Caputh. You just got caught lying, so it looks like I've been right about you all along.


...Now comes the good part. This is my next response where I break down your post and answer each question individually...

viewtopic.php?p=538188#p538188

...now my response to you saying...

A rope leash wrote:
How very Soviet of you


...accurately depicts you exactly who and what you appear to be online. A racist and a bigot.

I realise that it's common for many people to unintentionally say racist things. I don't believe that to be the case with you though. I think you are smarter than that. I think you know exactly what you mean and what you say. I have no reason to doubt your intentions. You are a true life racist, period. I feel sorry for you.


...which leads me back to my original question...


A rope leash wrote:
I have a paranoid fantasy that will match your delusion of multiple forum identities...

...here it is...

"SPACEBROTHER" is a forum identity used by several different operatives of governmental agencies out to deride free-thinking freedom lovers. Yep! "SPACEBROTHER" is the Frank Zappa account used by government spooks to derail any common sense discussion of the truth about our country and who runs it!

Gotcha!

ha ha ha!



...What gives with the multiple accounts?


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PostPosted: Wed May 30, 2012 1:00 am 
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Knock knock
Who's there?
How?
How who?
How does one person calling another person "Soviet" (I don't think it was me being called "Soviet", but even if it had been I wouldn't have been massively offended) prove that the person who called the other person "Soviet" is a racist and a bigot?

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 Post subject: Re: The Bad Joke Thread
PostPosted: Wed May 30, 2012 2:26 am 
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What did the green grape say to the purple grape?
Breathe, idiot! BREATHE!

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