Zappa.com

[quote author=ZF link=board=quotes;num=1031522540;start=15#24 date=01/28/03 at 04:54:10]<br><br>Taoism    Shit happens.<br>Confucianism    Confucius says, shit happens.<br>Buddhism    If shit happens, it isn't really shit.<br>Zen    What is the sound of shit happening?<br>Hinduism    This shit happened before.<br>Islam    If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.<br>Protestantism    Let shit happen to someone else.<br>Catholicism    If shit happens, you deserve it.<br>Judaism    Why does this shit always happen to us?<br>Atheism    I don't believe this shit.<br>Agnosticism    What is this shit?[/quote]<br><br>[quote author=jimmie d link=board=quotes;num=1031522540;start=15#25 date=01/28/03 at 05:39:29]<br>Let's add a few more!<br><br>Hare Krishna:  Shit Happens Rama Rama Ding Dong.<br>Islam:  If Shit Happens, Take A Hostage.<br>Buddhism:  If Shit Happens, Is It Really Shit?<br>7th Day Adventist:  Shit Happens On Saturdays.<br>Prostestantism:  Shit Won't  Happen If I Work Harder.<br>Jehovah's Witness:  Knock, Knock, "Shit Happens."<br>Morman:  Shit Happens Again & Again & Again.<br>Rastafarianisn:  Let's Smoke This Shit.[/quote]<br><br>[quote author=ZF link=board=quotes;num=1031522540;start=15#27 date=01/28/03 at 06:38:48]<br><br> ;D Found some more ;D<br><br>Calvinism: Shit happens because you don't work hard enough.<br>Stoicism: This shit is good for me.<br>Hedonism: There isn't anything like a good shit happening.<br>Christian science: Shit is only in your imagination.<br>Church of Scientology: Of course, GOD created this shit.<br>Church of Scientology: If shit happens, see "Dianetics" p.157<br>Shaolin: Destroy bad shits with Kung Fu.<br>Fundamentalism: If shit happens, you will go to hell, unless you are born again (Amen!)<br>Episcopalian: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it<br>Methodist: It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve grape juice with it<br>Feminism: Men are shit<br>Lutheran: If shit happens, don't talk about it<br>Presbytarian: This shit was bound to happen<br>[/quote]<br><br>Great laughs.

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lol internet.

concert in Milwaukee in the 70's, FZ introducing the band:<br><br>FZ: "...and on percussion we have Ruth Underwood."<br><br>Someone in Audience: "Nice tits!"<br><br>FZ: "Yes, on percussion, Ruth "Nice Tits" Underwood!"<br><br><br>ah, memories....

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This world is made for people who aren't cursed with self-awareness.

In Hammersmith 82 or 84 cant remember which, Frank started the show with (paraphrasing)<br><br>"Good evening London, this is our last european tour and it thrillls me greatly to know that i shall never have to come back to this place" <br><br>although he did change his mind  ;D<br><br>gotta tape of it somewhere will have to dig it out

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from the fifth dimension

The first time I  saw Frank was in 1980. Someone had told my parents that he used "foul language" and they weren't going to let my younger sister go to the concert (I was 21, so I was ok). I reassured them (in other words, lied to them) that I had never known Zappa to talk this way, so they relented and she got to go. The band started playing and as Frank walked out onto the stage, an audience member handed him a sign that read "How the f*** are you, Detroit?", and he walked back and forth across the stage, happily displaying it for all to see, before he even said a word.

[quote author=jimmie d link=board=quotes;num=1031522540;start=15#25 date=01/28/03 at 05:39:29]<br>Let's add a few more!<br><br>Hare Krishna:  Shit Happens Rama Rama Ding Dong.<br>Islam:  If Shit Happens, Take A Hostage.<br>Buddhism:  If Shit Happens, Is It Really Shit?<br>7th Day Adventist:  Shit Happens On Saturdays.<br>Prostestantism:  Shit Won't  Happen If I Work Harder.<br>Jehovah's Witness:  Knock, Knock, "Shit Happens."<br>Morman:  Shit Happens Again & Again & Again.<br>Rastafarianisn:  Let's Smoke This Shit.[/quote]<br><br>!!!LOL!!!<br><br>That was hellowafunny! ;D<br><br>Especially the Hare krishna one. But hey, isn't it supposed to be Rama Lama ding dong?<br><br> -/dr_grogg<br><br>

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Yeah, just as it used to be, but still not.....

<br>  you oughta try some... its really good stuff...!!

<br><br>"This is a play."

At Zappa's first concert in Sydney in 1973, some dickhead fired off a sky rocket inside the Horden Pavilion during the show. Frank stopped the music immediately and asked Security to find the guy and throw him out. When he finally started up again, it was the part of the show where he spells out MAH-JAH-RENE. I can't remember the actual wording but for each letter he described the guy with an abusive word. It was very funny......wish I could remember it.

[quote author=Uncle Bernie link=board=quotes;num=1031522540;start=30#42 date=07/09/03 at 06:38:52]At Zappa's first concert in Sydney in 1973.....he spells out MAH-JAH-RENE.....[/quote]<br>[font=arial black]m[/font]oron [tt]...the kind of person who lights fireworks in a crowded room[/tt]<br>[font=arial black]a[/font]sshole [tt] as if moron was not a good enough word to describe the motherfucker[/tt]<br>[font=arial black]r[/font]at [tt]...also what that guy is for lighting fireworks in this room[/tt] <br><br>[font=arial black]-[/font]  ...a hyphen ladies & gentlemen...& the hyphen should be stuffed up his ass<br><br>[font=arial black]j[/font]uvenile hall [tt]...where they would send him if they caught him in l.a.[/tt]<br>[font=arial black]u[/font]nguentene [tt]...a remedy for burns which might be used for a potential victim of his stupidity over there[/tt]<br>[font=arial black]h[/font]ot [tt] which it would have been if it had got on you[/tt]<br><br>[font=arial black]-[/font]  ...this 2[sup]nd[/sup] hyphen, this delightful hyphen - you should stuff that one up his ass again too because one's not enough, they're small<br><br>[font=arial black]r[/font]eligion [tt] a person like that needs true religion don't you think? or a girl named ramona....[/tt]<br>[font=arial black]e[/font]jaculation [tt]...which is what that thing was doing over there[/tt]<br>[font=arial black]n[/font]ude [tt]...how everyone should sleep if they get home, of course it is[/tt]<br>[font=arial black]e[/font]...a tiny weenie dwindling e which shall go undisclosed tonite simply because...<br>

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Thanks Slime - all that brings back memories, especially his tone of voice. Man, was he pissed off. Is this recorded somewhere?

[quote author=Uncle Bernie link=board=quotes;num=1031522540;start=30#44 date=07/10/03 at 03:19:31]....Is this recorded somewhere?[/quote]<br><br>probably on a bootleg, fer sure in the vaults.....i took it from the poodle play book<br>

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26-Mar 1980, Pacific Coliseum, Vancouver, Canada <br>85 min, Aud, A- <br>Don't Eat The Yellow Snow, intros/Nanook Rubs It vamp, Teenage Wind, Harder Than Your Husband, Bamboozled By Love, Pick Me I'm Clean, Society Pages, I'm A Beautiful Guy, Beauty Knows No Pain, Charlie's Enormous Mouth, Any Downers?, Conehead, Easy Meat, Mudd Club, The Meek Shall Inherit Nothing, Heavenly Bank Account, Suicide Chump, Jumbo Go Away, If Only She Woulda, Drafted Again, Joe's Garage, Why Does It Hurt When I Pee? <br>The band takes the stage and here comes FZ. As he takes the stage the audience on the floor rushes the stage. Frank says "Heeeeeeeeey, hold on here, this ain't no REO Speedwagon concert! You people get back to your seats. That's right, go trudging across the tundra, mile after mile, back to your seats." Disappointingly short show, but brilliant.

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Knirps for moisture!

Hey, me too! Would love to have these shows. I'm sure i saw FZ at the Agrodome too, but i remember it was with Flo and Eddie, 74 was a bit late for that lineup??? Probably around 1970, but there seems to be some confusion about this show. Some gig lists say a show in the Coliseum around this time, but i'm sure it was the Cowdrome. Hmmmmmmmmmm....

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Knirps for moisture!