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PostPosted: Fri Aug 03, 2012 9:59 am 
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Sweet.

Fuck.

All.

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 03, 2012 10:03 am 
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Sam I Am wrote:
Sweet.

Fuck.

All.


Well, at least it was sweet...

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 03, 2012 10:18 am 
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The sweet part is that it's Friday and that I'm taking Monday, Tuesday and Wednseday off.
I don't care if a sofa falls on me; at least it won't happen at work.

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 03, 2012 10:02 pm 
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just plain doug wrote:
BBP wrote:
An old classmate of mine, Koos van Berkel, has invented a flywheel for cars...

Does it work better than a hamster wheel?


It'll increase fuel efficiency in town by 30%.

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 23, 2012 10:27 am 
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There's a fly in the house. This morning, as he was still dozing on the ceiling, I grabbed the electric bug zapper and fried him. The thing sparked, as it usually does when you use it. The fly crumpled, fell out and lay stunned on the kitchen floor.

I grab the dustpan, wipe it up... and it FLIES AWAY!

It's Frankenfly! HELP!!

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 23, 2012 10:59 am 
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Babysitting my nephew all day, just like every other day Monday thru Friday...


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 23, 2012 5:33 pm 
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BBP wrote:
There's a fly in the house. This morning, as he was still dozing on the ceiling, I grabbed the electric bug zapper and fried him. The thing sparked, as it usually does when you use it. The fly crumpled, fell out and lay stunned on the kitchen floor.

I grab the dustpan, wipe it up... and it FLIES AWAY!

It's Frankenfly! HELP!!


You need to get a sharp pointed toothpick and drive it through his heart.

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 24, 2012 9:36 am 
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I've zapped Frankenfly again and tossed him out the window. Whether he got back from the dead again I don't know. Whether he saw the tunnel with the light at the end, I don't know. But at least he's no longer in the house!

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 24, 2012 7:51 pm 
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Took my wife for a ride on the bike after work to scope out if a local gravel pit lake was still fit for swimming. Got a block-and-a-half and snapped the clutch cable. Swore a lot. Made my wife walk home while I MaGyvered up a vise-grip fix to get the bike home. Met my wife back at the ranch Stole the clutch cable off my parts bike and set out again. Had a nice ride out to Bloomingdale, water looks good so I figure we'll bring the doggles and a cooler out on Sunday. Stopped off on the way home for some heartburn on rye with fries. Got home and my wife surprised me with a Freak Out t-shirt she found somewhere. Very cool. Sitting here with a beer to quench the heartburn, typing. There was some work stuff too, but that's boring shit.

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PostPosted: Fri Aug 24, 2012 11:26 pm 
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Sam I Am wrote:
Took my wife for a ride on the bike after work to scope out if a local gravel pit lake was still fit for swimming. Got a block-and-a-half and snapped the clutch cable. Swore a lot. Made my wife walk home while I MaGyvered up a vise-grip fix to get the bike home. Met my wife back at the ranch Stole the clutch cable off my parts bike and set out again. Had a nice ride out to Bloomingdale, water looks good so I figure we'll bring the doggles and a cooler out on Sunday. Stopped off on the way home for some heartburn on rye with fries. Got home and my wife surprised me with a Freak Out t-shirt she found somewhere. Very cool. Sitting here with a beer to quench the heartburn, typing. There was some work stuff too, but that's boring shit.

They never have my size or their out of stock! Your a lucky guy Sam you is!

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PostPosted: Sat Aug 25, 2012 4:37 am 
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AND his wife bought him a FZ shirt! Can I borrow some of your luck today Sam? I fell off my bicycle again, because the crank broke: not a likely thing to happen, but it did and it caused me to lose my balance. Got a few wounds now.

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2012 6:28 pm 
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Ok, my wife brought home some peppers that a co-worker grew and I decided to cook some up tonight on the bbq. I thought I washed my hands really good after cutting them up but apparently, shortly after taking a leak, it became obvious that I did not.

Any thoughts, suggestions, 1-800 numbers?

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2012 6:28 pm 
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I'm not kidding. Owwwww.

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2012 6:31 pm 
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My wife has veto'd the use of frozen margarine, or anything out of the fridge for that matter. She seems to think it's really funny in fact.

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2012 6:43 pm 
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Sam I Am wrote:
Ok, my wife brought home some peppers that a co-worker grew and I decided to cook some up tonight on the bbq. I thought I washed my hands really good after cutting them up but apparently, shortly after taking a leak, it became obvious that I did not.

Any thoughts, suggestions, 1-800 numbers?

Vinegar works on jellyfish stings and lye burns. Maybe...?
Milk, or vodka is supposed to help, too.

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2012 7:02 pm 
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I found some lydocaine cream that's providing temporary relief and am applying several coats of beer.
Almost as bad as poison ivy.

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2012 7:03 pm 
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And I've been banned from the fridge and my wife drank all the vodka last night.

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2012 7:04 pm 
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respect the pepper.

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2012 7:07 pm 
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Sam I Am wrote:
My wife has veto'd the use of frozen margarine, or anything out of the fridge for that matter. She seems to think it's really funny in fact.

Don't take this wrong but an icecube,from the freezer,in her mouth and you know what where,would soothe and help you forget all about it straight away.In fact you might get onto the habit of the ol' *darling get an icecube's I've done it again syndrome*.Ha ha! LOL! :wink: :mrgreen:

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2012 7:33 pm 
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Yeah, that whole avenue has been thoroughly blocked off.
The lydocaine cream has done its' job. For now.
I can report that the bbq'd peppers were most excellent.

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PostPosted: Sun Aug 26, 2012 8:09 pm 
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Sam I Am wrote:
Yeah, that whole avenue has been thoroughly blocked off.

Braces? :mrgreen:
Seriously,Ambasol works great without making you to numb to care too. 8)

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 27, 2012 7:30 am 
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Sam I Am wrote:
Ok, my wife brought home some peppers that a co-worker grew and I decided to cook some up tonight on the bbq. I thought I washed my hands really good after cutting them up but apparently, shortly after taking a leak, it became obvious that I did not.

Any thoughts, suggestions, 1-800 numbers?


Look on the bright side - it's better than Sweet Fuck All :wink:. It's also better than rubbing your eyes after cutting.

Bought a "new" car today - it's a ten year old Opel Vectra, but it's the epitome of style compared to my old, twenty year old Astra. Battered, loud but pretty reliable, the latter has a mileage equivalent to the distance between the earth and the moon

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PostPosted: Wed Aug 29, 2012 11:57 pm 
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Less than an hour ago, I was walking up to my local 7-11 and just as I was about to come around the corner onto Kingsway Ave., I'm pretty sure I saw Devin Townsend running by in the opposite direction. I stopped and turned around to look and see if it was him. He then looked back at me before he opened the passenger door of the silver car he was about to get into but he was already a half a block away and I still wasn't 100% sure if it was him. It would've been cool to talk, if it was indeed Devin. Oh well, I've meet him a couple of times before and my former co-worker, who plays in a local band, knows him since the Young Bros. who play with Devin, used to play with him (I think one of them still does occasionally). Devin actually plays here next week on the 5th, which is my 33rd B-day! :wink:

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 30, 2012 1:58 am 
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Reminds me of that joke about the farmhand who burns his willy. He rushes to find some water, but all he finds is a milkpail. He pulls off the lid and inserts his dingy.
Of course, that is the exact moment where the farmer's daughter comes in. Her face turns beet red.

-What's the matter with you? Haven't you ever seen one of those before?

-Yes... but I didn't realize that's how they were being filled.


Anyway my foot's turned black. The blood has sunk down.

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PostPosted: Thu Aug 30, 2012 10:06 pm 
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Eek, Bonny...sounds horrendous. Take care and maybe you should look both ways before doing ANYthing once you're able to hobble outside. Hope you recouperate soon.

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