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PostPosted: Sun May 18, 2014 5:06 am 
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I was asked in Plook's thread about my health situation, and I didn't feel like ruining the beautiful tribute to Terri on his thread. For those truly concerned, here it is. For those wishing to pass moral judgment over my lifestyle, please stop reading now. I've been through all the what ifs of this situation, and have beat myself up enough. I'm over that now though.

In 1988, I was in a serious car accident. I required a blood transfusion. The person who saved my life also shortened it. This was before testing of donated blood for Hepatitis C, so I received a good dose of Hep C.

I have a Jimmy Carl Black love for beer. Just like Zappa's love of coffee. Years of drinking beer on a compromised liver have left me in a "not so good state". I'm not on death's door yet, but I did torch my liver.

When my ex-wife found out about this wonderful situation, she decided that the "sickness and health" part of our marriage agreement was null and void. So, I paid $5,000 to an excellent attorney, and obtained full custody of him. Except for the 5 weeks every summer he goes to New York to see her.

So, that's it in a nutshell. I have 2 things on my bucket list. Try to collect as much Zappa as I can, and see my son turn 18. Other than that, I'm good.

:mrgreen:


Last edited by Philostopher on Wed Jun 25, 2014 1:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Sun May 18, 2014 7:02 am 
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I salute your positive attitude Philo'. We had the same hep c problem here in NZ, I have a good friend who after a motorcycle accident which not only killed his girl friend and removed his right arm and left him blind, he also got the added bonus of the infected blood transfusion. Life can be so cruel....


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PostPosted: Sun May 18, 2014 7:13 am 
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That's a terrible thing to happen to you, Phil... but I'm very glad we have you here to chat with us! (big hug)
How's your Zappa collection?

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PostPosted: Sun May 18, 2014 8:40 am 
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Thank you both! The Zappa collection is coming along great BBP. I have all the official releases, with the exception of The Old Masters Box Sets, and the controversial #95. Should it be official or not? I say no if they aren't going to release a physical cd, but I'm not in charge. Going to start looking for the Beat The Boots boxes here in a couple of weeks. Have to save up the scratch first.


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PostPosted: Sun May 18, 2014 9:08 am 
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Thanks for that P'r - tough break.
I worked worked in the blood bank in sydney from 1994-96, and the pre-donation screening at that point was excellent, but things come round every now and then that no-one expects. Around 1988 would have been very much like russian roulette with transfusions. Maybe those jehovas witnesses knew something :wink:
TT

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PostPosted: Sun May 18, 2014 1:49 pm 
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A lot of people in the late 80's were unknowing victims of this same situation deuce. I do want to clarify something. It was about 20 years before I found out I had this disease. I wasn't just sitting around killing beers knowing that I was committing a slow suicide.


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PostPosted: Mon May 19, 2014 8:18 am 
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I'm very sorry for you, Philostopher. That's a bad situation. But as you said, you don't have any plans to knock on that heavenly door. All the best for you, pal.

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PostPosted: Mon May 19, 2014 10:24 am 
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Just out of curiosity ,how many beers a day are you talking about?

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PostPosted: Mon May 19, 2014 11:59 am 
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Hey man, sickness can fuck right off! All the best to you!

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PostPosted: Mon May 19, 2014 4:26 pm 
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Wah wah wah.

I stubbed my toe today. I mean, it HURT for a good minute. So yeah, your story doesn't seem so drastic now, does it?

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PostPosted: Mon May 19, 2014 5:04 pm 
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BRAVO SIERRA wrote:
Just out of curiosity ,how many beers a day are you talking about?


5 or 6 a day during the work week. 12 pack + on the weekends, holidays, etc. In my 20's, I drank much more than after I had a kid and got a real job.


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PostPosted: Mon May 19, 2014 6:42 pm 
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To bad about the hep c, might not have been so bad with beer alone , guess I don't know, whats the prognosis .

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PostPosted: Sat May 24, 2014 6:19 am 
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calvin2hikers wrote:
Wah wah wah.

I stubbed my toe today. I mean, it HURT for a good minute. So yeah, your story doesn't seem so drastic now, does it?


That's fucking funny as hell. I was merely answering a question that Kapt asked me on Plook's thread. Where did I say my story was drastic? Glad your toe is better though.

Here is the basic prognosis Bravo. When I die, we will approximately know the life span of someone with Hep C who lived the same dumbass lifestyle as me.

Thanks to all those on this thread who gave me well wishes. I truly do appreciate it, but I'm done here. There's your answer Kapt. Now you know why I didn't want to ruin Plook's thread.


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PostPosted: Sat May 24, 2014 6:59 am 
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Well, maybe mine wasn't THAT bad.

I have non-alcoholic fatty liver and diabetes. I think it's because I did nothing but eat for a year after I quit smoking. So something I gave up for my health probably led to being more unhealthy. Nothing as serious as what you're going through. It seems like some people trade one thing for another. And good for you on the custody - I got full custody on my two children when I was divorced (about 19 years ago).

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PostPosted: Sat May 24, 2014 7:22 am 
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I disagree. There are millions of people with serious health situations, including yours. I am no more important in this world than you are. My main concern is having my kid with me. He's about to leave for his 5 week's with his mother every summer. I hate this time. I applaud you for obtaining your kids. Single fathers don't get much as respect as single mothers. My ex caused me to lose everything I worked 12 years for. But when she said I'll sign over custody of our son if I don't have to pay child support, I told my lawyer to get the papers going.

I realize I said I was done in this thread. But, I'm not a hypocrite if I'm responding to a good post. Right? :wink:


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PostPosted: Sat May 24, 2014 7:53 am 
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I was dissapointed with Calvin's post apparently mocking your condition or maybe just that you decided to share it (those that have been following Plook's thread know why). I suspect Calvin did that because of some hurt in his life. I remember Calvin shared his wife's battle with cancer awhile back and I don't remember the outcome of that or if he shared it. Hanging around this forum a long time I can tell that Calvin is, like me, somewhat introverted. Contrast that to Plook, who is very extroverted and comfortable with sharing his personal feelings about some very sensitive subjects on this forum.

The evolution of this forum has been interesting going from it being all about Frank and the music in the early days to being sort of a support group for some of us. Some genuine friendships have developed and I hope there will be more. I've quit the forum at least three times mainly because I was dissapointed and emabarrassed by some of my own posts. Too often in the past I've lashed out at (or mocked) people on the forum as a result of the anger, bitterness, and resentment I was feeling in my personal life. This has been especially true after I got a few drinks in me. Frankly, that is what got me kicked out of DZW - misplaced venting.

On my own personal health note, my check up a few days ago gave me a bit of a start. I've been dealing with high blood pressure and cholesterol with only half-hearted stabs from me at improving things. This time the Doc said I had CKD. He says my kidneys will last me the rest of my life but I need to take better care of myself (I guess I should have asked him how long I was going to live :D). Anyway, it was a kick in the pants to get it together. I had already started a diet last month and I'm down twelve pounds so far. With this additional motivation I can clearly see myself getting down to where I want to be and in better health (physically and mentally) than I have been in years. Lots of fruits and veggies and limiting the beer to a few on social occasions. It's too bad some of us have to be hit in the face pretty hard to make changes for the better but just the same, I'm glad the Dr. hit me in the face this week.

In closing, I don't know if Calvin regrets his post or not but I can say that I've made plenty of regrettable posts in the past and to anybody I've insulted or lashed out at I apologize. I'm not perfect and never will be but I'm working at it.

NOTE: I just see Calvin made a new post before I got this up but I will leave it as written.


Last edited by KUIII on Sat May 24, 2014 8:17 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Sat May 24, 2014 8:15 am 
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Philostopher wrote:
I disagree. There are millions of people with serious health situations, including yours. I am no more important in this world than you are. My main concern is having my kid with me. He's about to leave for his 5 week's with his mother every summer. I hate this time. I applaud you for obtaining your kids. Single fathers don't get much as respect as single mothers. My ex caused me to lose everything I worked 12 years for. But when she said I'll sign over custody of our son if I don't have to pay child support, I told my lawyer to get the papers going.

I realize I said I was done in this thread. But, I'm not a hypocrite if I'm responding to a good post. Right? :wink:


Surprised to see two single fathers on one forum. I know only one in real life: my own dad. For some reason, when people know you grew up without a mother, they think there's something substantially wrong with you.
All respect to you and Cal: I know all too well that people assume you raise your kids badly unless you prove them otherwise.

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PostPosted: Sat May 24, 2014 8:35 am 
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Much of the frustration I had with my divorce/custody issues was that my ex wanted primary custody while I wanted split custody. Using the argument that it was better for the kids to have a steady home base I agreed to her demands of a 70/30 split in custody with me having custody every other weekend plus one weeknight each week and me paying child support. The only problem with this is that after awhile she had my son staying with me 50% or more most of the time due to the demands of her job plus her desire to have an active social life. I said that was fine but let's adjust the child support accordingly. NOPE. Anyway, my son graduates from high school next year so the child support ends there as well. I will help my son with college to the extent I am able but I will be getting some relief soon.


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PostPosted: Sat May 24, 2014 9:00 am 
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I work with several guys in the same situation as you KUIII. They end up with their kids more than the custody agreement to the benefit of the mother, but the child support is set as if the mother has primary custody. You guys are the real heroes.

Thank you BBP for acknowledging what single fathers have to go through!!!!

I have no ill will toward Calvin. He posted what he felt at the time, and in a way he's right. But I never would have started this thread, were it not for my respect for Plook's thread.


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PostPosted: Sat May 24, 2014 10:12 am 
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I would never mock somebodies condition. It was meant to lighten the mood. Like 98 percent of my posts here. I rarely use smileys, and there's some situations I should (like my original post here) so I'll make sure it doesn't happen again. I didn't mean someone is more important than anyone else, either. I was trying to say sometimes the things we do we might stop if we knew how it would affect us later. Or not. No answers here.

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PostPosted: Sat May 24, 2014 12:22 pm 
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All the best, Philo...

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PostPosted: Sat May 24, 2014 12:38 pm 
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Its a good thread - slight misunderstandings thats all.
When I was a teenager, there was a spate of my friends dying - brain haemorraghes, burnt in fires / car fires, smack ODs, drownings etc. We were for a while all wondering who was next, but then 30+ years went by with little else like that happening. Getting old sucks, but we are at least getting there.
TT

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PostPosted: Sat May 24, 2014 3:17 pm 
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calvin2hikers wrote:
I would never mock somebodies condition. It was meant to lighten the mood. Like 98 percent of my posts here. I rarely use smileys, and there's some situations I should (like my original post here) so I'll make sure it doesn't happen again. I didn't mean someone is more important than anyone else, either. I was trying to say sometimes the things we do we might stop if we knew how it would affect us later. Or not. No answers here.


When I said I was no more important than anyone else, it was in response to your statement that your situation was nothing as serious as what I was going through. I disagree. You're situation is just as serious. That is why I said that.

We are all Zappa fans, right? How many of you actually agree with his bullshit explanation of second hand smoke in his book? Even our resident genius was wrong on that one. I can prove that to you. My herbal supplier and his wife smoke cigs like chimneys. I can no longer take my son to spend the night at their house, because it fucks up his sinuses for a week or more. I asked him if my pot smoke bothered him the same. He said that he is not crazy about the smell, but it does not bother him the same as their cigarette smoke.

Do not change your posting method because of me. I can read sarcasm if I'm familiar with the person posting. I actually read on this forum for a year before joining. So, I am familiar with some of the character traits of certain members that KUIII spoke of earlier. Uncle Bernie's sarcasm really cracks me up. :mrgreen:


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PostPosted: Sat May 24, 2014 4:51 pm 
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calvin2hikers wrote:
I would never mock somebodies condition. It was meant to lighten the mood. Like 98 percent of my posts here. I rarely use smileys, and there's some situations I should (like my original post here) so I'll make sure it doesn't happen again. I didn't mean someone is more important than anyone else, either. I was trying to say sometimes the things we do we might stop if we knew how it would affect us later. Or not. No answers here.

Sorry for the misunderstanding, Calvin. I'm very familiar with your sarcastic sense of humor on this forum but I missed that one. I guess that's one of the dangers of sarcasm. Btw, who would ever think a Zappa fan would be attracted to sarcasm? :wink:


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PostPosted: Sat May 24, 2014 5:20 pm 
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KUIII wrote:
calvin2hikers wrote:
I would never mock somebodies condition. It was meant to lighten the mood. Like 98 percent of my posts here. I rarely use smileys, and there's some situations I should (like my original post here) so I'll make sure it doesn't happen again. I didn't mean someone is more important than anyone else, either. I was trying to say sometimes the things we do we might stop if we knew how it would affect us later. Or not. No answers here.

Sorry for the misunderstanding, Calvin. I'm very familiar with your sarcastic sense of humor on this forum but I missed that one. I guess that's one of the dangers of sarcasm. Btw, who would ever think a Zappa fan would be attracted to sarcasm? :wink:


How would I know? :)

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