polydigm wrote:
Interestingly enough, when I get the DVD info it says the aspect ratio is 16 : 9 which is 1.78 : 1 but it also says the size is 720 x 480 which is a ratio of 1.5 : 1. Hmmm ...
I'll take a wild guess here... 720x480 is actually the standard size of a 4:3 NTSC picture - ie it's physically slightly less vertical than 'full frame' but is then stretched up to 720x540 when viewed on TV. Rather pertinently, one of the reasons
200 Motels was shot in Europe on PAL equipment was that the video picture there was less 'vertically challenged', so the quality would be that much better when it came to transfering the whole thing to 35mm.
Oh shit... Do you know what I think has happened here? Looking at your screenshot, it seems that the original 4:3 picture has actually been
cropped to the NTSC 4:3 standard rather than squashed (accounting for the slight strips of info missing from the top and bottom)... This means that even changing the settings on the DVD player to show it in 4:3 will still give the incorrect dimensions!

So clearly this is an almighty great fuck-up... If the YouTube preview is anything to go by, Tony Palmer most likely planned a straight 16:9 crop - but his instructions went awry somewhere along the line. I've no doubt that Palmer knows what he's doing - but I'm far less convinced that his staff do! Hence stuff like the 'Frank Zapper' caption on the original version of the preview!
And speaking of that YouTube preview... the missing chunk between 'Penis Dimension' and 'She Painted Up...' is evident on that clip too! I've a horrible feeling this may be down to them using a damaged print (doesn't the jump occur around the time of a reel change? The sudden wobble and dirt-flecks on the Ringo section certainly suggest so...).
DVDs have been recalled for far lesser quality-control evils. I wonder if that'll be the case here...
On the up-side, it's heartening to see an internet forum page boasting so many screen captures of Mark Volman's great big face!
calvin2hikers wrote:
This is somewhat like the Avatar discussion. Who cares about the visuals, what about the story?
There was a story?
To be fair, since the 'story' was effectively cobbled together in the editing suite from whatever footage they'd managed to get 'in the can', the trippy visuals and music kind of take centre-stage here. It would be nice to know that these were being presented on DVD as per the original intentions of the filmmakers, even if the movie doesn't follow the plot of the shooting script.
I'd love to get hold of that final script and give it a complete overview. Here's an attempt at cobbling together the 'complete' motel room scene - combining the dialogue as it appears in the movie with the read-throughs on
Playground Psychotics and the original
On The Road album...
Quote:
MARK
It's a good thing we get paid to do this. I could be in L.A., getting reamed, listening to an Elton John album.
HOWARD
Don't even talk about getting reamed. Listen, I've been without female companionship for so long, a career as a Jesuit monk looks inviting, Ian is starting to look good to me.
GEORGE
Must be his green velour socks!
JEFF
You just calm down there, Duke.
MARK
Ever since you left the jazz world to seek fame and fortune in the rock & roll industry...
JEFF
What do you mean rock & roll? This fucking band doesn't even play rock & roll, it's all that comedy crap!
IAN
If we played any rock & roll we might make some money. I wouldn't mind playing some rock & roll, uh, I like classical music too, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't enjoy playing rock & roll. I mean, it's not very challenging, intellectually, but I wouldn't mind if we did some rock & roll. We could vote on it.
JEFF
Vote on it? For what? To tell Zappa we want to play some good music instead of this comedy shit?
AYNSLEY
I wouldn't mind playing some more rock & roll, a bit more commercial, with sort of heavy four part harmony, group vocals and a very heavy beat, that the kids could enjoy. I think we'd definitely make more money that way.
IAN
Maybe after we finish the movie we could play more rock & roll.
MARK
Yeah! We could all quit and form other groups and play more rock & roll.
JEFF
And more blues, extended blues, blues but still down and funky, even though you extended it. George knows what I'm talking about, don't you, George?
GEORGE
Leave me out of this. I come from the jazz world and I know all about these groups that get formed and disappear, with their extensions waving in the moonlight.
MARK
You just calm down there, Duke.
JEFF
Maybe we could all form a group, we could elect a leader... Howard... we could call it Howard Kaylan World.
IAN
We wouldn't have to have any leader.
JEFF
We could just jam a lot.
AYNSLEY
But it would have to have a really heavy beat and be really commercial so the kids could enjoy it.
HOWARD
I wanna get laid! I am so horny I can't stand it!
JEFF
Listen, if you think for a minute anybody likes this comedy music we've been playing you're crazy. That's why you don't get laid - who wants to fuck a comedian! None of these girls can take you seriously.
MARK
Hang on, you should be careful talking about that kind of stuff.
JEFF
Why? Does he listen?
IAN
He always listens. He's always watching and listening to all the guys in the band. I've been in the band for years and I know, he always listens, believe me.
JEFF
That's how he gets his material. He listens to us being natural, friendly, humorous and good-natured, then he rips us off, sneaks off into a secret room someplace and boils it in ammonia, and gets it perverted. Then he brings it back to us at a rehearsal and makes us play it.
IAN
I've been in the group for years and let me tell you that is exactly, that is precisely what he does: He steals all his material. Exactly.
HOWARD
All of it?
MARK
And the stuff he doesn't steal, Murray Roman writes for him. Listen, without us he'd be nothing!
GEORGE
Hey, man, what's that over there?
HOWARD
It's him, he's watching us!
MARK
You think he heard us?
IAN
I've been in the band for years, and... you can bet that he heard everything.
JEFF
Let's go over and pretend to be nice to him.
HOWARD
Let's go over and pretend we don't know he's watching.
MARK
And ripping off all our good material.
HOWARD
Hi, man.
IAN
Hi, Frank.
MARK
Hi, man.
JEFF
Hi, Frank.
AYNSLEY
Hi, man.
GEORGE
Hi, Frank.
MARK
Boy, that's a great new comedy song you wrote, that one about the penis and everything, I was laughing a lot while I was learning it.
HOWARD
Yeah, Frank, uh, it was a little hard to get into at first, but, uh, once we got the drift...
JEFF
That's a real great part you got in there for the chorus when they go 'Ran Tan Toon Toon Na Na Hanninn' where I steal the room and everything, I don't mind you ripping it off so long as I get paid...
MARK
Me too, I don't even care about the part where he goes, 'What can I say about this elixir?' so long as me and Howard and Jeff get credit for special material.
IAN
See you guys later.
HOWARD
Where are you going, man?
IAN
I have to conduct the next orchestra sequence... Motorhead's Industrial Vacuum Cleaner and the Hot Nun Debris and so forth.
HOWARD
Nun Debris?? Where is she at?
IAN
Where isn't she?
HOWARD
Where is he at? What's this stuff mean in this movie?
JEFF
He's out of his fucking mind.
IAN
I'll see you guys later.
AYNSLEY
I'm going too, lads.
HOWARD
Where are you going?
AYNSLEY
I'm going to try out my new binoculars.
MARK
What do you mean, man? You look through the binoculars and beat your meat to it or what?
AYNSLEY
That depends largely on what I see through the binoculars!
HOWARD
What if you see Dik Barber's forehead?
AYNSLEY
You can't see it too good with that Industrial Vacuum Cleaner costume, and the hose and everything. It's sort of incognito.
OMNES
Whaaat?
JEFF
Did you hear that?
MARK
I heard it. He said 'incognito'!
JEFF
Rivet Boy Dunbar, ladies and gentlemen. Lord God King of the Snappy Reports. And here he is.
HOWARD
Yes, Dunbar, you Liverpudlian lycanthrope. Your retorts have been remarkably snappy just now. Something must be wrong.
MARK
There's some bad brown acid going around, Aynsley. You can take it with a grain of salt, heh heh heh heh...
AYNSLEY
I didn't mean to upset you, lads, but the reason my retorts were so snappy is because he's making me do this, I should imagine he's making you do yours too, isn't he?
HOWARD
Get out of here, you creep, you even used to live in his house!
AYNSLEY
See you later, lads.
MARK
Howard... He's right!
HOWARD
I know he is. You might as well admit it too, Simmons.
JEFF
Right. It's pathetic. He's making me do this. I can't help myself. Suicide is imminent...
GEORGE
Listen, errrrr, he's making me leave here now. Soooo, errr.... I'll see you when we play. It should be about another fifteen minutes - after that thing Ian's gonna conduct.
OMNES
Maaan...
LARRY THE DWARF
Listen, erm, uh, he's making me leave here now so, er, er, I'll see you later, er, when we play.
MARK
What?
LARRY THE DWARF
I don't expect you to understand that because we haven't formed our group yet.
MARK
When's that's supposed to happen?
LARRY THE DWARF
Jeff's the one who's going to form it.
MARK
What the fuck is going on here?
JEFF
Okay, let's see, you guys, we're gonna form another group. Zappa will never know the difference as long as we keep on being nice to him.
HOWARD
Right!
JEFF
Look, it's simple. This group will be commercial and have Blues extensions and everything. Mark will play the bass. Howard will sing and play sax, I'll play the guitar and the dwarf will be the drummer.
HOWARD
This guy isn't even a dwarf!
JEFF
That's one of the reasons why the group will be so commercial!
HOWARD
What about the rest of the guys in the band?
JEFF
They're already forming other groups all over the place. Why wait until the end of the movie - we could have a hit single right now.
MARK
We don't need Aynsley or George or Ian or nobody!
JEFF
Listen, he needs us, remember. We don't need him. All those other guys are too old for rock. They're out of it! We could have a tight little heavy group with this dwarf here. He used to play drums for Leon Russell!
HOWARD
You're right, Simmons. They are too old.
MARK
You're right. Zappa's thirty! Thirty years old. He's out of it! You're right! He should retire.
JEFF
Really, you can't trust old people. We should take up a collection and buy him a watch!
Tony Palmer probably has this whole scene, unedited, in his tape library (along with, no doubt, the 'unusable' live-action 'Dental Hygiene Dilemma' mentioned in the CD booklet).