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PostPosted: Wed Jan 25, 2012 1:14 pm 
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massagio wrote:
Plook wrote:
"We need a bigger boat..."

:smoke:
It's actually "We gonna need a bigger boat." :smoke:
Actually, it's actually "You're gonna need a bigger boat."

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 25, 2012 1:36 pm 
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just plain doug wrote:
massagio wrote:
Plook wrote:
"We need a bigger boat..."

:smoke:
It's actually "We gonna need a bigger boat." :smoke:
Actually, it's actually "You're gonna need a bigger boat."


Wooops! Sorry about that Roy Scheider! :smoke:


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 25, 2012 3:24 pm 
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massagio wrote:
just plain doug wrote:
massagio wrote:
It's actually "We gonna need a bigger boat." :smoke:
Actually, it's actually "You're gonna need a bigger boat."


Wooops! Sorry about that Roy Scheider! :smoke:

Just for that...

"Here lies the body of Mary Lee; died at the age of a hundred and three. For fifteen years she kept her virginity; not a bad record for this vicinity."

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 25, 2012 4:16 pm 
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"What a pisser."

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 26, 2012 6:48 am 
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Is your mouth all glued up with cunny juice? I ask you a question! :smoke:


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 26, 2012 4:09 pm 
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Is more a monologue, from Michael Clayton

Arthur Edens: Michael. Dear Michael. Of course it's you, who else could they send, who else could be trusted? I... I know it's a long way and you're ready to go to work... all I'm saying is wait, just wait, just-just-just... please hear me out because this is not an episode, relapse, fuck-up, it's... I'm begging you Michael. I'm begging you. Try and make believe this is not just madness because this is not just madness. Two weeks ago I came out of the building, okay, I'm running across Sixth Avenue, there's a car waiting, I got exactly 38 minutes to get to the airport and I'm dictating. There's this, this panicked associate sprinting along beside me, scribbling in a notepad, and suddenly she starts screaming, and I realize we're standing in the middle of the street, the light's changed, there's this wall of traffic, serious traffic speeding towards us, and I... I-I freeze, I can't move, and I'm suddenly consumed with the overwhelming sensation that I'm covered with some sort of film. It's in my hair, my face... it's like a glaze... like a... a coating, and... at first I thought, oh my god, I know what this is, this is some sort of amniotic - embryonic - fluid. I'm drenched in afterbirth, I've-I've breached the chrysalis, I've been reborn. But then the traffic, the stampede, the cars, the trucks, the horns, the screaming and I'm thinking no-no-no-no, reset, this is not rebirth, this is some kind of giddy illusion of renewal that happens in the final moment before death. And then I realize no-no-no, this is completely wrong because I look back at the building and I had the most stunning moment of clarity. I... I... I... I realized Michael, that I had emerged not from the doors of Kenner, Bach, and Ledeen, not through the portals of our vast and powerful law firm, but from the asshole of an organism whose sole function is to excrete the... the-the-the poison, the ammo, the defoliant necessary for other, larger, more powerful organisms to destroy the miracle of humanity. And that I had been coated in this patina of shit for the best part of my life. The stench of it and the stain of it would in all likelihood take the rest of my life to undo. And you know what I did? I took a deep cleansing breath and I set that notion aside. I tabled it. I said to myself as clear as this may be, as potent a feeling as this is, as true a thing as I believe that I have witnessed today, it must wait. It must stand the test of time. And Michael, the time is now.

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PostPosted: Fri Jan 27, 2012 8:47 am 
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Fuck you, Dave. You know you got a big mouth. You make a close, this whole place stinks with your farts for a week - how much you just ingested. Oh, what a big man you are! "Hey, let me buy you a pack of gum. I'll show you how to chew it." Whoof! You're pal closes, and all that comes out of your mouth is bile. Ooh, how fucked-up you are!


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 27, 2012 10:12 pm 
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Okay, here's the shot out of the cannon: Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You gotta fuck one, marry one, kill one, go!

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 9:02 pm 
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Is there a tv quote section? I don't know.

Here's a couple or three from 'Leave It To Beaver':

June Cleaver: Ward, I'm very worried about the Beaver.

Ward Cleaver: Sometimes I wish I had stayed single and raised silver foxes.

Cornelia Rayburn: [reading the poem Ward wrote for the Beaver to recite at school]
"The Bear:
I would like to be a bear, gay and happy free from care
That's the life like no other, climbing trees with my mother
Though they call me beast of rage, I've never put things in a cage
Or set a trap since time's begun, or shot a human with a gun.

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Miasma!


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 30, 2012 9:23 pm 
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calvin2hikers wrote:
Okay, here's the shot out of the cannon: Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You gotta fuck one, marry one, kill one, go!

Fuck my wife (good fuck,thats why she's my wife),marry Oprah (money & I just became Mormon) and kill Bawa Wawa when she investigates pluralistic marrages.(my pleasure) Time! Whew,that was fast! What did I write? How'd I do?.... :mrgreen:

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 1:24 am 
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hahahahhahahh I'd almost forgotten about hahahhah Bawa Wawa hahahahaha aaa a aaa


"So I started to walk into the water. I won't lie to you boys, I was terrified. But I pressed on, and as I made my way past the breakers a strange calm came over me. I don't know if it was divine intervention or the kinship of all living things, but I tell you Jerry, at that moment I was a marine biologist."

"The sea was angry that day, my friends, like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli."


we miss you George


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 5:21 am 
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Moe: "You talk like an idiot."
Curly Joe: "Then you understand me."

(inspired by much of the political wrangling goin' on 'round here)

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 6:13 pm 
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Eli Wallach: ( just grapped a note and is trying to read it)
Eli: "I...I....I.D..ID...I...I..IDI...IDI."
Clint Eastwood: ( grabs the paper from Eli)
Clint: (glances at note and sez) "Idiot".(while looking at Eli) :lol:

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 07, 2012 9:16 am 
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JOE
Who's your parole officer?

Vic Vega
Seymour Scagnetti.

JOE
How is he?

Vic Vega
He's a fucking asshole. Won't even let me leave the halfway house.

JOE
You know, it never ceases to amaze me. A fucking junglebunny slits a woman's throat for 25 cents, he gets Doris Day for a parole officer. Good fella like you winds up with a ball-busting prick. :)


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 07, 2012 8:32 pm 
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Curly: "You know, Moe, I was thinkin..."

Moe: (slaps Curly across the mouth) "Every time you think you weaken the nation".

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 07, 2012 8:39 pm 
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Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well, I have others.

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PostPosted: Sat Apr 07, 2012 8:42 pm 
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Treasury Secretary: "Sir, you try my patience!"
Firefly: "Don't mind if I do. You must try mine sometime."

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PostPosted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 1:57 am 
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I know what I'm talking about.





Black women ain't the sameas white women.





There's a slight difference.





Very funny.You know what I mean.





What a white bitch will put up with,a black bitch wouldn't for a minute.





If you cross their line,they fuck you up.





I gotta go along with Pinkon that.





Okay, Mr. Expert,if this is such a truism...





why is it that every nigger I knowtreats his woman like a piece of shit?





I'll bet those same niggerswho show their ass in public...





when their bitches get 'em homethey chill the fuck out.





- Not these guys.- Oh, yeah. Those guys too.





Tell you guys a story.





In one of Daddy's clubs there'sa black cocktail waitress named Elois.





- Elois?- Yeah, Elois.





E and Lois.We called her Lady E.





Where was she from?Compton?





She's from Ladora Heights.





Ladora Heights.The black Beverly Hills.





It's notthe black Beverly Hills.





It's the black Palos Verdes.





Anyway...





Lady E, she was a man-eater-upper.Un-fuckin'-believable.





Every guy who ever saw herhad to jack off to her at least once.





You know who she looked like?Christie Love.





Remember that TV showGet Christie Love...





about the black female cop?





She always used to say,"You're under arrest, sugar! "





- Who played Christie Love?- Pam Grier.





No, it wasn't Pam Grier.Pam Grier was the other one.





Pam Grier did the film.





Christie Love was likea Pam Grier TV show without Pam Grier.





- So, who was Christie Love?- How should I know?





Great. Now I'm totallyfuckin' tortured.





Whoever it was,she looked exactly like Elois.





Anne Francis.





No. That was Honey West.





Anne Francis is white.





I'm tryin' to tell a story here.She looked exactly like Elois.





We come into the clubone night...





and there's Carlos,the bartender.





He's a wetback.He's a friend of mine.





I says to him,"Carlos, where's Lady E tonight?"





Apparently Lady E...





was married to real pieceof dog shit, a real animal.





He used to do things to her.





Like what?What would he do?





Beat her up?





I don't know.He just did things.





So anyway, one nightshe plays it real cool.





She waits for him to get drunk.





He falls asleepon the fuckin' couch.





She sneaks up on him,puts some glue on his dick...





and glues his dickto his belly.





Jesus Christ!





I'm serious, man.I'm dead serious.





They had to call the paramedicsto cut the prick loose.





Was he all pissed off?





How would you feel if you had to do a fuckin' handstand to take a piss?


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PostPosted: Sat May 26, 2012 4:25 am 
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Every Which Way but Loose;

"Dem's Blackwidders"

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PostPosted: Sat May 26, 2012 8:28 am 
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thenoisydrum wrote:
Every Which Way but Loose;

"Dem's Blackwidders"



Same Movie

"Right cheer"


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 01, 2012 1:33 am 
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Predator
Blain "Son of a bitch is dug in like an Alabama tick"

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 29, 2012 1:26 am 
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In a beauty contest, she'd lose to the score board.

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PostPosted: Sun Jul 08, 2012 10:38 am 
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Look, guess what. I have a fever! And the only prescription that can cure that fever is "MORE COWBELL"!

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 19, 2013 5:05 pm 
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from Sharknado...

"You're going to need a bigger chopper".

(as in "helicopter")

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PostPosted: Fri Jul 19, 2013 5:24 pm 
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just plain doug wrote:
from Sharknado...

"You're going to need a bigger chopper".

(as in "helicopter")

I heard it was sooo bad it was campy good. Who'd a thunk it! :lol:

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