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Plook took a dump from an old tree stump. Something fell from his rump and merged with the clump. He gave his fist a pump and thought of Forrest Gump. (His chocolates needed a box.) He thought of the town pump, the hump with the twin bumps. He'd sure like to jump that plump strumpet again. He squeezed out a final lump and rubbed a corncob 'crossed his chump ass. He threw the corncob. It hit a small rabbit named Thump, who was said to be smarter than Trump. But then who isn't? End of lie.

Pope Jim considers himself Yeats equal and superior to Stevens, but not as good as Suess...

All very true -- BUZZ! You lose. And with a little work, I could equal the good Doktor, but is the effort worth it? Consider the readership.

Plook almost had a Boehner the other night, but then Lady Gaga crept into his fantasy.

Pope Jim planned a modern, fashion conscious form of indulgences called the fiscal quiff i.e. you paid money to reduce your sins in purgatory, the demons being alerted to your payments by your expensive coiffure.

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The more I learn, the less I know.

Caputh has been saving pennies in hopes of buying his sins back...

Plook sells counterfeit indulgences to little old ladies with whiskers. His descent into heretical crime began with an addiction to Botox treatments.

Pope Jim is launching his 'white collar comedy tour' this year. He will cut the sleaves off of his best robe and call himself 'Jimmy The Papal Guy.' Git R ordained!

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ahhh...something to savor

coevad currently writing a screenplay for a comedy about a crazy Pope, with an Ivory fortress in which the Pontiff makes Fondue in his not so secret basement called "Papal Parmesan"...

Plook is currently on tour to buy out every Hobby Lobby of their fondue pot inventory during their blow-out sale this month. The 1.25 gallon size is his main target.

Yes, for some, cheese is a hobby.

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ahhh...something to savor

coevad said he would give me a coopin for a Fondoo pot from the hobby store, he's my cheese BFF...

Plook fell for his cheesy BFF, coevad, when he heard that classic come-on: "Fondoo me, you big savage." Now their fondue parties are legendary all up and down Californica. They have even been sighted at Crack In The Box furtively chowing down on cheesy Jumbo Jacks together. But hey, they're not choosey cheese-lovers. Just tell them your name is Jack and get in line.

Pope Jim has a fondue fetish, but when desperate can get by on chettios...

Plook will have to tell us sometime what "chettios" are. Are they a typo of Cheerios or are they some kind of cheesy snack cracker made from the remains of Chet Huntley? Attention Syfy network: another episode for Unsolved Mysteries. Send Plook a check.

Here's a scary thought: Plook is the main brain behind many CBS sitcoms! Thankfully, not Big Bang Theory, but most of the others.

Pope Jim believes that the Big Bang Theory based the charactor of Sheldon on Trendy...

Plook believes that the Big Bang Theory states that the universe began when someone who got intimate with a sheep contracted a killer infection that exploded.

That comes so dangerously close to the truth that I'm gonna have to BUZZ! you again, Plook. One more and this thread will be permanently shut down and sent to Zappadamnation. This wanton spreading of pernicious near-truths is heavily frowned upon and cannot be ignored. In other words, watch it, bub! You're on double-secret probation.

Plook sells contraband Mexican soft white light bulbs out of his trunk in I-5 rest areas. Look for the beat-up '66 Rambler American.

Pop Jim doesn't want to hear the truth, he can't handle the truth...

This week only, Plook's having a special on 100-watt light bulbs, suitable for framing in thought balloons over your empty, pointy heads. Stock up, save 37%.

Pope Jim has decided he's an Arian (not an Ayran). This caused quite a stir at the Cardinals' meet-and-greet-transubstantion-raffle-indulgence day.

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The more I learn, the less I know.

Caputh came home to discover his family had turned his not so secret basement into a game room...

Plook is an illing B-boy.

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You gotta give the people something good to read, on a Sunday

calvin2hikers has decided to turn his not so secret basement into a man cave...

In a yet-to-be-aired episode of Wheel Of Fortune, Plook won every round.

Pope Jim won the Vatican Bingo Tournament by Papal decree...

Plook kicked up a fuss when Pat Sajak refused to hold his hand on the short walk from the small bonus wheel to the final bonus round puzzle. (It is rather sexist, after all. Can you blame him?) Now he has a new restraining order to add to the collection on his not-so-secret basement wall.