Zappa.com

Somehow Pope Jim found out about my extreme dislike for Reba, and is only defectling since he's called her a babe for years.

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You gotta give the people something good to read, on a Sunday

calvin2hikers has trouble understanding things sometimes so he reads Pictures for Big Words to get5 up to speed...

Plook would like to remember the night he spent with Divine, but he can't and the videotape went missing.

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You gotta give the people something good to read, on a Sunday

Calvin is seeking funding to restore a videotape of a cross-dressing feces-fresser. $100 gets you the raw footage, a nifty propeller beanie and a license to distribute (the beanie, that is; talk to Cal's lawyers). Watch as the unnamed cult heroine, whose acting talents are abysmally divine, cleans up after Gary the Blunder Dog in what was once Plook's triple top secret basement.

Since Pope Jim is already the next Pope, the smoke you see coming from the chimneys will be after one helluva party.

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You gotta give the people something good to read, on a Sunday

calvin2hikers is starting a website to get out the Pope vote...

In opposition to Plook's "Let's get an Anti-Christ in there" website.

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You gotta give the people something good to read, on a Sunday

Calvin is pleased to announce that Beaver Stampede will go on with guests as previously scheduled. Adele has come to her senses. She gets an extra $100 and six big bags of Doritos in all different flavors, plus assurances that condoms will be worn, even in rehearsals. (That makes sponsors Ed and Mabel happy, as all condoms will be purchased from them.) Reba has agreed to appear the following week, but only if Plook or coevad (or both?) will team up with her.

Pope Jim has a whole van load of 99cent store condoms. Coincidence? I think not!

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ahhh...something to savor

coevad had a relative die when they were soaking their dentures and got their head stuck in the glass.

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You gotta give the people something good to read, on a Sunday

Calvin believes that if he always wears a condom, he'll never get sick.

Pope Jim as usual wants all sperm accounted for...

Good news! Plook has agreed to appear on Beaver Stampede next week. Reba's ecstatic! She's getting her boobs lifted special for the occasion. She's even looking into that Lifestyle Lift that Debbie Boone lights up your life with at three o'clock in the morning every morning. (Plook, you lucky mammal.) And don't miss tonight's show, right after Nightline. Adele's gonna show Calvin how she hits those high notes. Viewer advisory: Wear your earmuffs.

Pope Jim is the first pontiff to wear chaps, boots, spurs, and carry a lariet...

Plook wore a pink tutu and roller skates to the last gay disco bar he frequented back in 1985.

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ahhh...something to savor

coevad didn't feel like going outside, so he epoxied his hand to the fridge.

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You gotta give the people something good to read, on a Sunday

Calvin still can't figure out why it hurts so much when he pees!

--Bat

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<------PhotoArtWerk by debutante_daisy http://www.facebook.com/BatchainTheMovie

batchain could give a shit, but that would make him too happy!

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You gotta give the people something good to read, on a Sunday

calvin2hikers just bought a meteor fragment on ebay for 99.99 RUB

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Keep the great work!

calvin2hikers does armchair analysis in his spare time...

The pressure is on. Plook watched Beaver Stampede last night and he's pretty sure he can't come close to Calvin's performance with Adele, which was, in a word, masterful. Poor Plook. He's getting cold feet. Reba's tweeting him up the yin-yang, too. That woman wants to do more in her allotted ten minutes than any man could hope to do in a day, plus she wants to warble one of her hokey hits. If he hadn't already spent the advance, Plook would be on the next Carnival cruise to Patagonia. coevad's bit with Beyonce was photoshopped and lip-synched. He should be ashamed. If Beyonce came within a thousand miles of Nebraska in the last month, this reporter will eat Janet Reno. For shame, Dave. Next time put on your Priscilla Pointer costume and do it with Cal's donkey. All in all, though, a damn good show. I give it four Boehners (out of a possible five). Can't wait for next week's show. Hope Plook gets a pair.

Pope Jim obviusly found a fresh crop of wild mushrooms growing on the grounds of the Papal Palace...

Plook is thinking of reviving Rally Round The Flag and touring it in certain Latvian countries.

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You gotta give the people something good to read, on a Sunday

calvin2hikers feels like becoming a Canadian...

Calvin has footage of coevad and Adele that he's saving for the blooper reel...or possibly civil court.

Aw shit, Plook slipped one in on me. Plook has zits on his tits and Funyuns up his bunions.