Zappa.com

Calvin can't decide who he likes better, Ricki Lake or Anderson Cooper.

Calvin2hikers watches the price is right on a continuos loop...

Plook dreams of moving to Chico and opening a Secret Basement Cafe that caters to UC Davis drop-outs who are looking for spiritual guidance.

Downer Mydnyte is searching for a heterosexual lifemate named Upper Daybrake. No others need apply.

(Also, I call FOUL on Plook, or FOWL in Trendmongrelspeak. He lied about Calvin when he should have picked on me. I'm hurt. )

Pope Jim really doesn't care, and is happy when the abuse is poured upon me.

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You gotta give the people something good to read, on a Sunday

True. Also, it should be noted that Calvin's late night porno reality series, Beaver Stampede, has been dropped by the sponsors and the broadcaster. Plook's performance with Reba was so lackluster that they tarred and feathered Reba and fondued and feathered Plook and sent them both out of town on an unswept cattle car headed for Salt Lake City. Hopefully the feathers will keep them warm. (If they're smart enough to leave them on.)

Pope Jim is hold up in the Vatican not so secret basement and has threaten not to come out until the Conclave has named him Imperial Leader of the Church...

Plook is right now in a subterranean cave plotting the next phase of his world domination. It involves ducks and a jar of green olives.

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You gotta give the people something good to read, on a Sunday

Calvin would be wise to take an option on pickle and garbanzo futures. There's more to Plook's dastardly plot than ducks and green olives.

Pope Jim used to sell vacum cleaners door to door, the experiance serves him well at Pontiff Products...

Plook wears adult diapers at home. He freaks out whenever someone turns on the vacuum cleaner.

Pope Jim cornered the market early on Papal Pellets that are used to signal the crowd whether or not a new Pope has been selected...

Plook's avatar is from the movie Rollerball, in which he was an unpaid extra for 3 weeks.

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You gotta give the people something good to read, on a Sunday

calvin2hikers was a stunt double for Howdy Dowdy back in the day...

Plook is begging to fire the papal pellet cannon. He wants to spray the whole glassy-eyed crowd in St. Peters Square. How do I tell him I already gave the job to my grandson, Special Ed?

hahaha



His holiness Pimp Jim likes to take a dip in the Willamette River every morning before eating his daily breakfast which consists of Nancy's Yogurt and raw granola mixed with a large melted cube of pot butter and 1/4 cup goats blood.

downer mydnyte was applying a thin coat of lacquer to his upper lip in order to impress a southern belle.

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You gotta give the people something good to read, on a Sunday

calvin hasn't emptied the spit-valve on his flugelhorn since Obama's first election.

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ahhh...something to savor

Dave left his summer job at the local zoo under somewhat of a cloud. Jumbo the elephant was found to be missing a tusk, and Willie the white rhino was, well just missing. Dave had no comment to make when questioned by a piquent teenage journalist from the local community college newspaper, while partaking in a lap dance at the Golden Carrot gentlemens club in chinatown....

There could be more to this story..

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Thanks for the music Frank.

Well I'm about to get sick from watching my TV

Gray Ghost can't decide whether to get his meat from the local butcher or from a hog farmer with a gnarled hand.

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You gotta give the people something good to read, on a Sunday

Calvin has an old horse he'd like to sell.

Pope Jim keeps mostly to himself, because, well, he has to.

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You gotta give the people something good to read, on a Sunday

Calvin wishes he was an Oscar Meyer wiener, because then all the girls would be in love with him.

Pope Jim's "subtle hints" about altar boys and alzheimers brought about the resignation of Pope Benedict. Now he's searching for a new moniker to crown his unbridled lust for papal power.

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The more I learn, the less I know.

Caputh sold his ivory tower to Nigerian investors.