Zappa.com

Pope Jim is plotting in his not so secret basement how to steal the Red Papal shoes once they are removed fro the imposters feet...

Plook is almost ready to launch his snot rocket. All he's waiting on is two more barrels of fuel from Bay Area sperm banks. Any day now. Watch the skies! Also, buy an umbrella.

(I would, but I sold my ivory tower)
"Conclave, conclave, conclave!" intones Pope Jim at the end of every service. Whereupon his congregation, which is mainly composed of French-speaking Londoners, immediately begin to rinse out their noses with holy water.

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The more I learn, the less I know.

Caputh turned down another chance to guest host Saturday Night Live. He didn't want to share top billing with Justin Bieber and they refused to stock the green room with beef Wellington.

Pope Jim has, in a papal bull, refused to give me the recipe for Beef Wellington. I will weep in my pillow tonight.

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The more I learn, the less I know.

Caputh thinks that Beef Wellington is a fine cricketeer.

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Good writing is clear writing.

False Dichotomy thinks that Napoleon Brandy is squeezed from descendants of the family of Napoleon.

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You gotta give the people something good to read, on a Sunday

Calvin thinks that Napoleon Murphy Brock is squeezed from a rubberized bag full of Illinois Enema Bandit Juice.

downer mydnyte thinks Cracker Barrel is a top shelf restaurant and WalMart sells the good stuff...

Plook loves the meatballs at Ikea.

Pope Jim believes that Taco Bell itself leaked the horse meat story because they wanted people to know that it was actually meat.

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You gotta give the people something good to read, on a Sunday

calvin thinks that the papal bull is sealed with cheese fondue leftovers from plooks secret basement.

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ahhh...something to savor

Coevad sprinkles fairy dust everywhere he goes.

Pope Jim froze, as a bulbous bead of perspiration trundled out from beneath his ornate golden hat, tettered for a moment then dawdled down the deep crevice of his furrowed brow pausing to grow imperceptibly larger the bead began the harrowing journey from which there is no return, off the cliff that is the steep slope of the pope's nose. As Bobby fell, in the micro second that Jim had become aware of the existence of this rouge droplet of sweat he had christened him Bobby, through the air and rapidly gaining speed Bobby due to his increased velocity began to change shape. Suddenly now at full speed Bobby hit the Pope's ring with such force it knocked the wafer from Jim's hand, with a scream only whales could hear Bobby was torn asunder dousing a ceremonial candle with a hisssss, at the same moment Rosetta, Bobby's better half performed a perfect double pike with a twist and bellyflopped into the wine causing the blood of Christ to leap from the silver goblet staining Jim's previously pristine white surplice. "Good Christ!" Pope Jim exclaimed with a chuckle "Rosetta's gotten blood on my cassock, again" unfortunatly CNN's live microphone attached to Jims collar broadcast every syllable to the world....Now back to the studio, Larry?

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Thanks for the music Frank.

Well I'm about to get sick from watching my TV

Grey_Ghost has offered up the recipe for beef Wellington. Will Caputh jump on it before Plook sniffs it out? Stay tuned to CNN. Perhaps Wolf Blitzer will have something middle of the road and ultimately meaningless to report. Who's Larry?

Pope Jim is jealous because CNN uses more craptackular gagets then his cable news network...

Plook won fifty shares of Al-Jazeera in a pai gow *SPAM* tournament. He's gonna crap when it becomes public that former Pope Benedict owns the controlling interest. (Since when did a friendly game of cards become Spam?)

Larry Kling....theres a Larry clinging to every network

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Thanks for the music Frank.

Well I'm about to get sick from watching my TV

Gray Ghost trips the light fantastic. It fell and was shattered.

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You gotta give the people something good to read, on a Sunday

calvin2hikers is going to invest in a arts and crafts furniture company that makes tables out of cow patties, its called Turd Tables Inc...

Plook has a babies arm growing out of his forehead. He covers it with a stocking hat and hangs out at a Seattle's Best that he constructed out of used cardboard boxes.

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ahhh...something to savor

Coevad thinks that Jimi Hendrix burned a guitar at every concert he ever played.

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I'm getting larger as I walk away.

Kapt. Kiirk can't wait to turn 65 and come into his title. He will be the grandest Duke of Proons of all time.

Pop Jim will never be allowed to beam up by Kapt Kiirks minions...

Plook got gang-queefed in the toiletries aisle at Safeway. It was horrible.