Zappa.com

The Official Frank Zappa Messageboards
It is currently Tue Sep 23, 2014 12:25 pm

All times are UTC - 8 hours




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 7747 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 268, 269, 270, 271, 272, 273, 274 ... 310  Next
Author Message
PostPosted: Fri Mar 29, 2013 12:58 pm 
Offline

Joined: Sun Dec 04, 2011 5:40 pm
Posts: 3580
Location: Eugene, OR
It has been Plook's lifelong dream to become a Valley Girl. To that end, he needs to lose at least 10 I.Q. points, ideally 15. So he sits in front of his teenage bedroom mirror hour after hour repeating "Oh...My...Gawd," trying to find the perfect pitch, tone and degree of nasality. He wants ever so badly to be noticed by the Biebster at his next blockbuster concert.

You know, it takes time to craft these clever lies. Meanwhile Caputh clocks in with a dumb one-liner that my cat could have made up. As a matter of fact, that might explain the unusual deposits in my cat's credit card box these last few months.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri Mar 29, 2013 1:43 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Thu Mar 05, 2009 5:48 pm
Posts: 19992
Location: Somewhere in time
Pope Jim needs to move further away from the Power Plant... :smoke:


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Fri Mar 29, 2013 2:04 pm 
Online
User avatar

Joined: Sat Nov 22, 2008 9:19 am
Posts: 4815
Location: in deepest, darkest Germany
Pope Jim's cat is called Francis. Plook catnapped him and, in the belief that he was the reincarnation of Frank Vincent, he played him early Zappa, but the cat seemed strangely obsessed with Giotto murals instead.

_________________
"I have learned from my mistakes, and I am sure I can repeat them exactly."


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sat Mar 30, 2013 2:23 am 
Offline

Joined: Sun Dec 04, 2011 5:40 pm
Posts: 3580
Location: Eugene, OR
Caputh's obsession with Disco Boy will be his undoing. An army of dittoheads, teabaggers and Canadian Randites will soon descend upon Deutschland and declare the Fourth Reich. The Big Lie shall set you free. Heil, Isaac!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sat Mar 30, 2013 2:25 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Thu Mar 05, 2009 5:48 pm
Posts: 19992
Location: Somewhere in time
Pope Jim has achieved a mind meld with Spacebrother... :smoke:


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sat Mar 30, 2013 6:29 pm 
Offline

Joined: Sun Dec 04, 2011 5:40 pm
Posts: 3580
Location: Eugene, OR
Plook once mind-melded with Gary the Blunder Dog. Now you know why he licks his balls in the middle of the living room. (His friends are so envious.)


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sat Mar 30, 2013 11:50 pm 
Online
User avatar

Joined: Sat Nov 22, 2008 9:19 am
Posts: 4815
Location: in deepest, darkest Germany
Pope Jim is already making plans to smuggle out Isaacites after their inevitable defeat by the overwhelming Socialist/Marxist/Keynesianite forces. He knows he's going to need 'em sometime. Instead of South America, he plans to transport them undercover to Ugley, Essex where they will work as tax lawyers.

_________________
"I have learned from my mistakes, and I am sure I can repeat them exactly."


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sun Mar 31, 2013 8:19 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Thu Mar 05, 2009 5:48 pm
Posts: 19992
Location: Somewhere in time
Caputh has a crystal ball that gets great reception since he added cable... :smoke:


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sun Mar 31, 2013 11:10 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Fri Jul 30, 2010 11:55 pm
Posts: 2286
Plook was skating around Palo Alto when Kapt Kirk stumbled out of the park and approached him. Kirk's face was painted dayglow orange and blue, which caused Plook to laugh out loud.
"What's up, Kap'n ?"
"You're either on the BART or off the BART", Kirk informed him.
"Okay", Plook said. " I just need to get to the Safeway in Walnut Creek."
"Take 2 drops of this", replied Kirk, handing him a vial of clear liquid.
Plook was last seen in the produce aisle trying on different sizes of organic grapefruit.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Sun Mar 31, 2013 5:44 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Thu Mar 05, 2009 5:48 pm
Posts: 19992
Location: Somewhere in time
downer mydnyte mysteriously miss the majical mystery tour by mistake on a monday in march at midday...things that make you go Mmm... :smoke:


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Apr 01, 2013 4:40 am 
Offline

Joined: Sun Dec 04, 2011 5:40 pm
Posts: 3580
Location: Eugene, OR
All the kids in Plook's neighborhood are crying. Plook shot the Easter bunny and had a barbecue. All the chocolates and jelly beans went into a special dessert fondue. Today it's egg salad sandwiches and Carta Blancas. Plook invites you all to come over and flatulate.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Apr 01, 2013 8:04 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Thu Mar 05, 2009 5:48 pm
Posts: 19992
Location: Somewhere in time
Pope Jim has the Easter Bunny inslaved working the tunnels of his not so secret basement... :smoke:


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Apr 01, 2013 11:43 am 
Offline

Joined: Sun Dec 04, 2011 5:40 pm
Posts: 3580
Location: Eugene, OR
Plook sent in his paperwork to Oral Roberts University. He hopes to become a karma mechanic. Now he paces his backyard, waiting for his phone to ring. Oral's son, Anal, will personally deliver the good/bad news. We're pulling for you, Plook!


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Apr 01, 2013 11:48 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Mon Apr 03, 2006 7:33 pm
Posts: 671
Location: Puisard Radioactif
Pope Jim forget his mini chocolate Easter Bunny in his back pocket so now every body think he shit his pants.

_________________
Je suis désolé pour les roles que j'ai joué dans toutes ces videos, ce n'est pas tres valorisant pour l'humanité mais si cela peu avoir fait progresser la science, alors il y aura eu un coté positif.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Mon Apr 01, 2013 12:27 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Thu Mar 05, 2009 5:48 pm
Posts: 19992
Location: Somewhere in time
ZutboF harkins back to a day when the French would laugh when Jerry Lewis would fall down… :smoke:


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 5:29 am 
Offline

Joined: Sun Dec 04, 2011 5:40 pm
Posts: 3580
Location: Eugene, OR
Someone stuck a dog doo snow cone in Plook's right eye and he doesn't trust the grapefruit juice that Mrs. Plook set on the table. His day is off to a shaky start.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 3:50 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Thu Mar 05, 2009 5:48 pm
Posts: 19992
Location: Somewhere in time
Pope Jim may have to cut back on his plans for world conquest via not so secret basement, since the food cost for his minning minions is getting prohibitive... :smoke:


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 7:15 am 
Offline

Joined: Sun Dec 04, 2011 5:40 pm
Posts: 3580
Location: Eugene, OR
Plook sold all of his snot rocket technology to North Korea. That should set back their war-making efforts by at least ten years. President Obama wants to give Plook the Medal of Freedom, but his advisors say no, it'll just tip off the Koreans earlier. So instead Plook gets to caddy a round of golf for Joe Biden and play frisbee with the White House mutt..


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 9:38 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Thu Mar 05, 2009 5:48 pm
Posts: 19992
Location: Somewhere in time
Pope Jim wants to put N. Korea before the Inquisition, they're cutting in on his action... :smoke:


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 4:41 pm 
Offline

Joined: Sun Dec 04, 2011 5:40 pm
Posts: 3580
Location: Eugene, OR
Plook's afternoon of golf with Joe Biden was a disaster. The VP ignored every word of his caddy's advice. Biden only parred once on the first nine holes and it went downhill from there. He was last seen chasing Plook with a five iron across the fourteenth hole fairway, screaming *SPAM* in a husky falsetto.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 8:04 pm 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Thu Mar 05, 2009 5:48 pm
Posts: 19992
Location: Somewhere in time
Pope Jim sure likes SPAM alot... :smoke:


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 9:11 pm 
Offline

Joined: Sun Dec 04, 2011 5:40 pm
Posts: 3580
Location: Eugene, OR
Plook went to see Spamalot when the road show passed through his little cow town. He didn't get it. He thought he was taking the Mrs. to a new all-you-can-eat restaurant and a fucking musical broke out.


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Apr 04, 2013 7:00 am 
Offline
User avatar

Joined: Thu Mar 05, 2009 5:48 pm
Posts: 19992
Location: Somewhere in time
Pope Jim thinks the way you calculate the size of your town is by the quantity of cow paddies per lot, he believes he lives in the biggest town of all... :smoke:


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Apr 04, 2013 9:40 am 
Online
User avatar

Joined: Sat Nov 22, 2008 9:19 am
Posts: 4815
Location: in deepest, darkest Germany
Plook tried to play charades using physical objects last night. His attempt to mime Guns 'n Roses' "The Spaghetti Incident" left him with a large laundry bill.

_________________
"I have learned from my mistakes, and I am sure I can repeat them exactly."


Top
 Profile  
 
PostPosted: Thu Apr 04, 2013 11:55 am 
Offline

Joined: Sun Dec 04, 2011 5:40 pm
Posts: 3580
Location: Eugene, OR
Caputh owns stock in the Vatican Spaghetti Farms. He looks forward to his next dividend check. Maybe this quarter he'll finally get the Vespa of his materialistic dreams.


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 7747 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 268, 269, 270, 271, 272, 273, 274 ... 310  Next

All times are UTC - 8 hours


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Bing [Bot] and 4 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group