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PostPosted: Sun Jun 23, 2013 6:37 am 
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Dear Cal

Which side of the bed is the wrong side, so I don't wake up on it?

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Sleeping Around


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 23, 2013 7:42 am 
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Plook wrote:
Dear Cal

Which side of the bed is the wrong side, so I don't wake up on it?

Sign Me

Sleeping Around


There's actually a scientific answer to this! The wrong side is the side your wife sleeps on. You don't dare sleep on that side.

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 23, 2013 8:32 am 
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Cal,

I can't think of a witty question. Can you help?

Jar

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 23, 2013 1:28 pm 
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calvin2hikers wrote:
It was simply to fulfill contractual obligations. None of the group liked it. Palmer said the cover made them look like the Bee Gees.


Keith Emerson stuffed a cucumber down the front of his pants to fulfill a contractual obligation? Alright. Thanks, Cal.
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 23, 2013 2:07 pm 
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downer mydnyte wrote:
calvin2hikers wrote:
It was simply to fulfill contractual obligations. None of the group liked it. Palmer said the cover made them look like the Bee Gees.


Keith Emerson stuffed a cucumber down the front of his pants to fulfill a contractual obligation? Alright. Thanks, Cal.
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You HAVE to get the ladies ready for Love Beach.

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 23, 2013 2:09 pm 
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sleeping in a jar wrote:
Cal,

I can't think of a witty question. Can you help?

Jar


Hmm...how about "Why was Frank Beard the only one in ZZTop not to wear a beard?"

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 23, 2013 8:57 pm 
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calvin2hikers wrote:
sleeping in a jar wrote:
Cal,

I can't think of a witty question. Can you help?

Jar


Hmm...how about "Why was Frank Beard the only one in ZZTop not to wear a beard?"


I read somewhere (maybe the bathroom wall at the Mudd Club) that Frank Beard's boy friend didn't like facial hair.........


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PostPosted: Mon Jun 24, 2013 4:48 pm 
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Gray_Ghost wrote:
calvin2hikers wrote:
sleeping in a jar wrote:
Cal,

I can't think of a witty question. Can you help?

Jar


Hmm...how about "Why was Frank Beard the only one in ZZTop not to wear a beard?"


I read somewhere (maybe the bathroom wall at the Mudd Club) that Frank Beard's boy friend didn't like facial hair.........



Oh no, I don't believe it, you say you think you know the gayness of Beard? (And no, not that one......for those that know what I mean. :))

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 24, 2013 5:58 pm 
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Dear Cal,

Why was Frank's beard the only one in ZZBeard not to wear a top?


was that right?

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How do I know anything you've said to me is...
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 24, 2013 6:09 pm 
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Um no, sorry.

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 24, 2013 6:37 pm 
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Dear cal,

Is it possible for Joan Rivers to be sporting a Van Dyke if she gets another facelift?


Penguins at the beach gotsta' know!

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PostPosted: Mon Jun 24, 2013 8:50 pm 
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KAPT.KIIRK wrote:
Dear cal,

Is it possible for Joan Rivers to be sporting a Van Dyke if she gets another facelift?


Penguins at the beach gotsta' know!


and would Joan Rivers look like Dick Van Dyke now, if she hadn't had the work done?
Thanks in advance :wink:


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 25, 2013 6:08 am 
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I've heard Joan Rivers would not be able to be on TV anymore if she had another facelift due to the fact that she would only be able to look up from the top of her head since that's where her face would be.

And Gray Ghost, I think maybe she would look like a severly wrinkled Jan Michael Vincent. (And since we practice political correctness in my thread, please refer to Dick Van Dyke from now on as Penis Van Lesbian.)

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 25, 2013 12:42 pm 
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Dear Cal

I’m in Vegas with a $20 bill, I need to parley it, what is the surest way Black Jack, Craps, Roulette, Slots, or video *SPAM*?

Sign Me

Stay up all night to get lucky
:smoke:


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 25, 2013 3:03 pm 
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Plook wrote:
Dear Cal

I’m in Vegas with a $20 bill, I need to parley it, what is the surest way Black Jack, Craps, Roulette, Slots, or video *SPAM*?

Sign Me

Stay up all night to get lucky
:smoke:


I don't gamble so I have no idea. Do they have Keno? I've played that. But I've heard it's horrible in the odds department. I didn't win anything.

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 25, 2013 5:16 pm 
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Dear Cal -

Brian Urlacher burst through my front door last night and tackled my grandmother. Is there anything I can do to help the poor guy?

rn

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 25, 2013 6:12 pm 
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Ronny's Noomies wrote:
Dear Cal -

Brian Urlacher burst through my front door last night and tackled my grandmother. Is there anything I can do to help the poor guy?

rn


Put a mic in front of him and then have him telestrate the slo-mo of the tackled grandmother. It's what ex-football players do.

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PostPosted: Wed Jun 26, 2013 3:21 pm 
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Cal

Who would better serve the Country, a Douche or a Shit Samdwich?

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South of the Park


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 26, 2013 4:06 pm 
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Oh my god, stop before it's too late! It's a cookbook!!!

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 28, 2013 1:22 am 
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Cal, who is Sam d Wich and is he, or she, as unlikely as that sounds, a republican or democrat.....Or something differenttttttttttttttt?



thankyou oh wiseone.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 28, 2013 3:28 pm 
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Gray_Ghost wrote:
Cal, who is Sam d Wich and is he, or she, as unlikely as that sounds, a republican or democrat.....Or something differenttttttttttttttt?



thankyou oh wiseone.


Gosh, it would be easier to list what he didn't accomplish. Sixth Beatle, Under-Secretary for Under Developed Hills under LBJ, 100,000th crowd member at Monterey Pop, inventor of underwater billiards, trouncer of Queen Elizabeth II in a qualifying World Of *SPAM* tournament....but you can read all about it in his autobiography "One Man's Meat Is Another Man's Poi, Son".

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 28, 2013 3:36 pm 
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Dear Cal

I'm hotter than hell, what should I do?

Sign Me

Steemy in Caly


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 28, 2013 3:50 pm 
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Plook wrote:
Dear Cal

I'm hotter than hell, what should I do?

Sign Me

Steemy in Caly

I'm in the same heat wave cal, do I just grin and bare it?

Hotter than H. E. double hockey sticks!

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 29, 2013 9:58 am 
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We went through the same here in the mid-west last year. There's not much you can do accept make sure that you have A/C. Ours broke down and we didn't have it for four days of near 100 degree heat. It will be over eventually when the polar ice caps melt and we all drown (note: for humourous effect, not proclaiming a side in the debate.)

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 29, 2013 11:55 am 
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Dear cal,

Was it you who first came up with the idea of a disclaimer? If not, why not? If so, how so?

Waiting to drown.

"It's a Polish thing"<Get it honey, as he dug an elbow in her?

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