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PostPosted: Sat Jun 29, 2013 12:29 pm 
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KAPT.KIIRK wrote:
Dear cal,

Was it you who first came up with the idea of a disclaimer? If not, why not? If so, how so?

Waiting to drown.

"It's a Polish thing"<Get it honey, as he dug an elbow in her?


Gosh, I wish. No, it was Zebediah "No Opinions" Disclaimer who came up with it, and it was named after him. As for your joke, I laughed so hard I ripped the staples out of my leg and bled a lot. Damn you!

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PostPosted: Sat May 24, 2014 10:33 pm 
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Dear Calvin -
I recently misunderstood a sarcastic remark from a celebrity advice columnist on a cult musician's fan forum. The shame is all consuming and makes me wonder if I'll ever be taken seriously again. I have built my reputation on understanding sarcastic commentary and now I don't even know if I would recognize good sarcasm if it came up and bit me on the ass. Is there a way that I can get my "mojo" back or am I doomed to being perplexed when encountering witty retorts, caustic comments, and ironic asides the rest of my life?

Signed-

Not Getting It in Northern California


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PostPosted: Sun May 25, 2014 2:17 am 
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Dear Calvin:
Is the habit of making embarrassing or awkward remarks, instigating the reaction of people, and then saying "I was only joking" or "Gee, you have no sense of humor" a social problem over the internet, where the interlocutor cannot be looked upon, nor intonation, face or body language can be used as hints of the speakers true intentions? How to mitigate this problem, if any? Thanks for your program. Yours, truly, MGG.

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PostPosted: Sun May 25, 2014 4:29 am 
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Dear Calvin,

My sincerest apologies if our interaction on here yesterday offended or bothered you. None of my posts were made out of any anger toward you. So, how do we solve the problem of reading sarcasm on here without using these smilies? I'm approaching half a century in age, and feel a little silly adding them to my posts. I sometimes feel as though I have to in order to keep my post from being misread.

Sincerely,
Philostopher


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PostPosted: Sun May 25, 2014 5:41 am 
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KUIII wrote:
Dear Calvin -
I recently misunderstood a sarcastic remark from a celebrity advice columnist on a cult musician's fan forum. The shame is all consuming and makes me wonder if I'll ever be taken seriously again. I have built my reputation on understanding sarcastic commentary and now I don't even know if I would recognize good sarcasm if it came up and bit me on the ass. Is there a way that I can get my "mojo" back or am I doomed to being perplexed when encountering witty retorts, caustic comments, and ironic asides the rest of my life?

Signed-

Not Getting It in Northern California


Oh geez. If you could only expose the celebrity as a nerdish dweeb who has nothing better to do than spend large amounts of time on the computer and has little else to do except mowing and working and doing whatever housecleaning my err his wife does then you could expose him for what he really is.

If only you could do that! But just wait a couple of days. Time heals all wounds.

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PostPosted: Sun May 25, 2014 5:42 am 
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Mr_Green_Genes wrote:
Dear Calvin:
Is the habit of making embarrassing or awkward remarks, instigating the reaction of people, and then saying "I was only joking" or "Gee, you have no sense of humor" a social problem over the internet, where the interlocutor cannot be looked upon, nor intonation, face or body language can be used as hints of the speakers true intentions? How to mitigate this problem, if any? Thanks for your program. Yours, truly, MGG.


I'm sorry, I'm not taking any questions from international posters at this time.

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PostPosted: Sun May 25, 2014 5:57 am 
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Philostopher wrote:
Dear Calvin,

My sincerest apologies if our interaction on here yesterday offended or bothered you. None of my posts were made out of any anger toward you. So, how do we solve the problem of reading sarcasm on here without using these smilies? I'm approaching half a century in age, and feel a little silly adding them to my posts. I sometimes feel as though I have to in order to keep my post from being misread.

Sincerely,
Philostopher


I am VERY VERY VERY offended that you think I was offended. At all. :)

Maybe gifs are the answer.

"I am the most brilliant person in the history of this forum".

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Hey, Philstopher, stubbing my toe was 1000 of times worse than your hepatitis!

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Frank Zappa is the best ever.

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PostPosted: Sun May 25, 2014 6:14 am 
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Calvin - I keep jabbing my hand on the cut ends on 24 plain strings.
I am I doing anything right?
TT

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PostPosted: Sun May 25, 2014 6:28 am 
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deuce wrote:
Calvin - I keep jabbing my hand on the cut ends on 24 plain strings.
I am I doing anything right?
TT


Absolutely nothing! Guitar playing is about expression. It could be the NEXT BIG THING!

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 13, 2014 6:18 am 
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Cal,
I recently bought a pair of beige suede brogues. They are gorgeous but what trousers will they go with?

'Drum

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 13, 2014 8:28 am 
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You bought them before examining your wardrobe? Sigh. Oh well, good thing I'm here. If you have pants that are alternating plaid/beige/ash you might be able to pull it off. Otherwise, burn the shoes.

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PostPosted: Fri Jun 13, 2014 7:35 pm 
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c2h,

How can I help cure the stupidity of many Z forumers?

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"...I'm absolutely a Libertarian on MANY issues..." ~ Frank Zappa, Rochester, NY, March 11, 1988


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 13, 2014 9:57 pm 
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Disco Boy wrote:
c2h,

How can I help cure the stupidity of many Z forumers?

Is he talkin' to me? (eye's be rollin' on the concrete fawn)

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 14, 2014 4:18 am 
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Disco Boy wrote:
c2h,

How can I help cure the stupidity of many Z forumers?


Well, I understand they hold meetings, so you could bring it up, since you're the CEO.

HAHAHA, LOL, get a napkin, you just got served.

No, but seriously, I don't read the political stuff anymore and could give less that a flying fuck what you (or any of your adversaries) are talking about in those threads. It wouldn't change what my opinion on what I believe. Nor will it for anyone else there. So, have fun, and could you please keep it in those threads? Thanks.

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 14, 2014 6:04 am 
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How can I help cure the stupidity of many Z forumers who are trying to help cure the stupidity of many Z forumers who are stupid, and need to be cured of their being Z forumers, who....uh....wait, where was I....form stupid cures for Z-ers who help cure .....dang! I had it a minute ago...

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 14, 2014 6:22 am 
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KAPT.KIIRK wrote:
Disco Boy wrote:
c2h,

How can I help cure the stupidity of many Z forumers?

Is he talkin' to me? (eye's be rollin' on the concrete fawn)


It's his opinion of what and who stupid is, so don't worry about it. :wink:


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 14, 2014 8:00 am 
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C2H for the win! :mrgreen:

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 14, 2014 8:38 am 
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Sam I Am wrote:
C2H for the win! :mrgreen:


I'm not really trying to win. I like the people that are in those threads, the two main combatants included. But I would hope we have the right not to engage in any of the debate, actual or acrimonious.

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 14, 2014 8:47 am 
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Dear Calvin, I am currently second from bottom on a tip list predicting results from the Soccer World Cup. Could you please tell me what all the results for the World Cup will be and I'll split the winnings with you.
Signed, Misty Crystal Ball

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 14, 2014 3:26 pm 
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Caputh wrote:
Dear Calvin, I am currently second from bottom on a tip list predicting results from the Soccer World Cup. Could you please tell me what all the results for the World Cup will be and I'll split the winnings with you.
Signed, Misty Crystal Ball


You happen to be in luck. I've run several thousand different scenarios through a sports tournament program which I designed. Giving weight to several factors, such as talent, speed, defensive and offensive strengths, and several other intangibles, I've determined that this year's World Cup will come down to China-Turkey. Sell everything you have and bet it on this surefire outcome - Turkey comes from 11 goals down to take it at the last minute.

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Last edited by calvin2hikers on Sat Jun 14, 2014 3:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 14, 2014 3:39 pm 
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Dear Cal

My daughter has me on a diet consisting of a lot of fish, how much fish is too much fish...I think I cut a gill while shaving this morning!

Sign Me

Something fishy going on... :!:


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 14, 2014 3:55 pm 
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Plook wrote:
Dear Cal

My daughter has me on a diet consisting of a lot of fish, how much fish is too much fish...I think I cut a gill while shaving this morning!

Sign Me

Something fishy going on... :!:


Consult your local sturgeon before embarking on any diet. I would take fish oil, for the halibut. Oh cod, that's awful. Before anyone carps at me for being too punny, I'll stop.

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PostPosted: Sat Jun 14, 2014 4:01 pm 
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Then it looks as though the stupidity of many forumers won't be cured after all.

Oh well, I had hope...

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"...I'm absolutely a Libertarian on MANY issues..." ~ Frank Zappa, Rochester, NY, March 11, 1988


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 14, 2014 5:51 pm 
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Dear Calvin,

Why does my left nut sometime itch more than my right nut, and vice versa? Is this some sort of phenomenon like when the palm of your hand itches, you are supposed to be coming into some money?

Thanks
Philo'


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 14, 2014 7:41 pm 
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Philostopher wrote:
Dear Calvin,

Why does my left nut sometime itch more than my right nut, and vice versa? Is this some sort of phenomenon like when the palm of your hand itches, you are supposed to be coming into some money?

Thanks
Philo'


Wow! Really! It's an honor to finally know someone who has this phenomenon. Expect to arrive at your doorstep (in about 2-3 weeks) a vat of your favorite gravy and enough Lincoln logs to fashion a rowboat!

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