In 1984 FZ self-published Them or Us, a 351 page book created with a dot matrix printer. A facsimile paperback edition was released in 2010.

Foreword
This cheesy little home-made book was prepared for the amusement of people who already enjoy Zappa music. It is not for intellectuals or other dead people. It is designed to answer one of the more troubling questions related to conceptual continuity: 'How do all of these things that don't have anything to do with each other fit together, forming a larger absurdity?' Your enjoyment of the contents could be enhanced by hearing some of the music described in the text. The albums shown on the back cover contain some of these songs. Other songs derive from 'Joe's Garage' and "Ship Arriving Too Late To Save A Drowning Witch'. This is a story book. It is not a rock & roll biography. This is the only REAL & OFFICIAL FRANK ZAPPA BOOK*. All other books attempting to trade on my name are unauthorized and full of misinformation. This book is dedicated to all of the fans who have made the last 20 years** of large-scale absurdities possible. This book used to be called 'Christmas In New Jersey'.

* This and The Real Frank Zappa Book (published in 1989).

** Plus yet another 20, give or take a few years.

Original Edition 1984:
Barfko Swill, Los Angeles USA
1984
ISBN (None) 
352 pp, paperback, 28 x 21,5 cm
English

Facsimile Edition 2010:
Pinter & Martin, London USA
2010 November
ISBN 978-1-905177-56-1
360 pp, paperback, 21,5 x 14 cm
English